Archive for » February, 2010 «

26
Feb
Let Go of the Rope

443085_in_the_cave_5To continue our theme of peace in the midst of outer turmoil this week, I’m delighted to introduce Linda Wilson as my first guest blogger at Holy in the Daily. Linda has been struggling with cancer for some time and her growth in Jesus continues to amaze me. She and her husband, Rich, pastor a Third Day church in San Luis Obispo, California. Linda is known for her humor, compassion, and artful soul. Welcome Linda!

The old joke goes like this: A man falls off a cliff and part way down grabs a piece of bush hanging there and he looks up at the sky and yells, “God, help me!” God replies, “let go and I’ll catch you!” The man thinks about it for a minute and then yells, “Is anybody else up there?”

This has been the hardest season of my life. The first couple of times I had cancer I didn’t look or really feel like I had it, so it was easy to journey right on through. This time I both look and feel like I have cancer and it is not easy. I have physical pain and have lost a lot of weight—which is a heck of a way to diet. I am still believing God’s promises to me and will stand by them for He is not a liar or a trickster, but I have to confess that I have cried more in the last few months than I have my entire life—crying over nothing and crying over everything. It has been really cathartic.

I was talking to a friend last week when I felt like God told me I had finally let go of the rope. We all have ropes we hang on to. These ropes are made of multi-strands of different things. I wove mine together as a child as I learned to protect my self from pain.

My rope was made of control, manipulation, denial, self-centeredness, self-reliance and fear of intimacy—just to name a few. All those things protected me as a child and kept the pain of loss from killing me. They felt like a nice little box I could hide in, but as an adult, the box became a prison which kept me from trusting the very One I could trust the most.

This season has been about me learning I could trust Him. This isn’t like a theory or a belief, but something deeper—an experience.

I realized I was no longer trying to control every little thing like my cancer treatments (a biggie, since I had made all my own choices before, based on what iI believed He was telling me – but still my choice to micro manage). Since I let go and faced my fear I no longer do that.  

I have let go of everything except Him. I have fallen into the arms of a loving Father and it is a wonderfully peaceful place.

I know I couldn’t have let go of my rope if He hadn’t loved me as He has. The Word says we love Him because He first loved us! He has done it all. I did nothing to contribute to being in this place. That is amazing to me. I realize I can trust Who He is, not just what He says. It was not being able to trust Him that kept me in the prison—kept me hanging onto the rope. It is the not being sure He loves us that keeps us from completely letting go and trusting Him.

So now I rest in His arms and feel His love and I don’t care what happens to me. He is my Papa and will take care of me. I don’t have to take care of myself any longer—no more need for self-protection or self-preservation. He is more than enough. I feel like one of the lilies in the field or a tiny sparrow. I am dependent on Him now for my every need.

I can’t emphasize enough how I did not make this happen. That is the wonder of it all. One day I just felt His great love for me break through and that was all it took.

So my prayer is for those I love who are still holding onto the rope. I pray that His love will break through and you will know how special you are, how loved you are, and that you will be able to let go with a KOWABUNGA and fall into the arms of your loving Papa.  —Linda Wilson

What is your rope made of? In what ways are you learning to “let go of the rope?” Please share this post with those you know who struggle with cancer, and click on “comments” below to share your thoughts with us.

In Him together, Susan Gaddis

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24
Feb
How to Keep People from Draining the Peace Out of Your Day-Part 2

597241_troubledPeople can drain the peace out of your day if you let them. Can you think of one person whose presence you could have done without lately—at least for a while? Irritating relationships can make room for the Holy when you keep a few self-care practices in place.

In Part 1 of this discussion, we focused on responding to negative people intrusions in our day. Today we’ll look at healthy boundaries and self-talk when handling the needs of others.

Which of the following people draining situations apply to you?

1. Your boss drops a file full of paperwork on your desk and wants it completed today—along with everything else in your overflowing to-do box.

2. Your teenager is the star attraction in Hormones on Steroids and gives you free tickets for a front row seat.

3. Your sister focuses her Nikon microscope on your life and feels responsible to inform you of everything you are doing wrong and why you need to change—right now.

4. Your good friend is going through a divorce and wants to talk with you every night.

5. Other: _________________________________ Fill in the blank with your latest example of a “people drain.”

All of the situations above require your attention, but not your emotional peace. Responsibility, compassion, and respect for others remain necessary to maintain healthy relationships and walk in love. However, the demands of people do not have to dominate your thoughts or time.

One of the difficult things I am learning requires setting aside whatever is bothering me after giving it a certain amount of mental and physical attention. It is not my job to change people, their situations, or their feelings. Nor do I have to get sucked into their emotional drama or expectations.

Let’s review the above statements and see how to respond with healthy self-talk.

1. I will accomplish what I can of the paperwork required of me. However, if it is more than I can reasonably accomplish, I will say so and leave the unfinished paperwork until tomorrow. I will enjoy my evening and not feel guilty or pressured to “bring the job home with me.” I have a life separate from work and I intend to keep it that way.

2. My teenager may currently be difficult to live with, but it will not do either of us any good for me to get emotionally involved in his latest crisis. If I am calmly relying on the Lord, I can give wise counsel as needed or I can listen quietly. I do not have to solve my teenager’s issues, but I can pray and point him in the direction of the One who solves my problems.

3. My sister loves me and for that I am grateful. However, my life is mine, not hers. I am responsible for me. She is not. I will set a time limit to listen to her comments and conclude our time together with, “Thank you for sharing. Your comments are noted and I will review them with the Holy Spirit.”

After I have sincerely prayed, I will follow any directions the Spirit Holy has given me, leave the rest of my sister’s comments with the Lord, and not carry around the conversation in my head.

4. My friend may be going through a very difficult situation, but it is her situation—not mine. I will help her with some of her troubles, although I am not going to give up my family time on a daily basis. It feels good to be needed and I want to be a good Christian, yet I know that only God can be her real source for comfort and wisdom. I will be careful to not take over his job. I will continually pray for her as I guide her towards the Lord.

Learning good mental boundaries helps set limits on what we do with our time and emotional energy. This is one way to maintain the Lord’s peace in our lives and be truly available to others.

How do you separate yourself from people who are draining your peace, yet still need a caring response? What self-talk examples can you add to this list? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comment section below.

In Him together, Susan Gaddis

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Category: Brain overhaul, Daily, Personal growth, Relationships  Tags: , , , , , ,
22
Feb
How to Keep People from Draining the Peace Out of Your Day–Part 1

137566_stress_or_whatFinding the Holy in my daily often means responding with gentleness to the abrasive intrusions of the hour. Be it irritating drivers on the freeway or the cable company billing department, I find myself called to relate with self-controlled mindfulness.

Our large family and growing church provide continuous opportunities for criticism, thoughtless comments, and annoying attitudes to assault my air space, email inbox, telephone wires and otherwise pleasant conversations. If I am not careful in how I respond, such communications become the dictators of my own attitude.

Do you ever analyze your negative moods and realize it isn’t people who have depleted your inner peace, but your own choices in how you reacted to the actions or inactions of those people? When we respond calmly, gently, and with thought-out wisdom, we feel better about ourselves when the communication is over—we preserve our inner peace.

Of course, most abrasive intrusions are sudden and unexpected. I’m trying to learn to immediately grab my defenses before they switch into high gear and set them in a safe place within—usually a mental picture of sitting myself next to Jesus and under his right arm.

Next I try to separate the person from his actions. When I fail to do this, my shoes of peace come off and my combat boots get laced on tight. Any ensuing communication comes across as attacking the individual rather then dealing with his irritating actions.

Finally, I attempt to use a loving tone of voice and respectful words. Funny how these two things can convey a correction, apology, or difference of opinion in a way that binds rather than divides.

I’ve been practicing this stuff for some years now and still find my well-trained defenses are more dominate then I would like. But I am growing in this, and that is the whole point—to grow, change, and move forward with Jesus—not to have my act perfectly together.

How do you handle the abrasive intrusions of your day? How do you walk with the Holy in the midst of negative interruptions? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comment section below.

In Him together, Susan Gaddis

Check back in on Wednesday for Part 2 of this series on How to Keep People from Draining the Peace Out of Your Day.
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19
Feb
Passionate to Worship the Lord of the Dance

1056922__olympics_There is something about figure skating that captures my desire to worship the Lord of the Dance. Perhaps it is the smooth and flowing freedom of the dancers that speaks to me of unrestrained worship, or it could be the gracefulness of their moves upon the hard ice. Whatever the reason, this call to worship mesmerizes me.

King David danced before the Lord with wild abandonment as he brought the ark of God back to Israel (see 2 Samuel 6:12-23). As a public figure, you would think David might have practiced a little more restraint, yet his inhibitions stepped aside letting his passion for the Lord seize center stage. Interestingly, David’s wife Michal didn’t appreciate his public display and a childless life became her destiny.

The Olympics draw passion out of participants and viewers. We admire and cheer those who win medals. We weep the fallen. We imagine ourselves doing things our bodies would never approve of, yet we secretly desire to express our passions with the disciplined wildness of the athletes who grace our TV screens.

Someday I plan to dance like an Olympic figure skater. I will use all their wonderful movements set to worship music as I express my heart before the Lord of the Dance. This isn’t physically possible with the body I currently own—weak ankles and old joints! So for now, I do the next best thing—I put some worship music on the CD player, close my eyes, and use my imagination to unrestrainedly and gracefully dance before the Lord. Not only does the Lord love it, but it is great practice for my future performance!

What do you think passionate worship looks like? Why do we resemble Michal more than we do David in our attitudes towards expressive worship? What are you noting from the passion of the Olympics? Please add your thoughts in the comments section below.

 In Him together, Susan Gaddis

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17
Feb
5 Things You Should Know About Fasting

863359_wine_glassToday begins 40 days of fasting for this Charismatic girl. I’m new to the practice of Lent, but I thought I’d jump in with full intentions and inner resolve to fast. I’m reading as much as my brain can digest pertaining to this ancient spiritual practice as information tends to facilitate my resolve. It also helps that my husband has called our church to fast—I am not alone in my pain.

I’ll be sharing things I am learning in some of my posts during the next 40 days, but for a start, here are 5 things you should know about fasting to survive the backtalk your stomach will give you:

1. When a Christ follower desires to grow closer to God or to identify with the things that grab God’s attention, he or she will fast. Throughout the Bible we find stories of men and women fasting in some form or another. Church history contains additional stories of our fathers and mothers in the faith setting aside time to live a fasted life.

2. Our body communicates what we value by responding appropriately. When my father died, I cried. I also didn’t eat for days. My husband, a very funny man, beams when I laugh at his antics. Check my day planner—I schedule eight hours of sleep at night because I value a fresh mind and clear thinking when I rise at 5:00 to write. Walking up and down my street keeps me healthy so I can dance at my grandchildren’s weddings.

For much of my life, the closest I’ve come to integrating my body with my spirit and soul is when I raise my hands in worship or pray aloud. Have you ever noticed that in some cultures people wail when a friend dies or position themselves horizontally on the floor during prayer? I have never heard wailing at a funeral. Yet, raising my hands in worship, putting my face on the carpet to pray, and wailing at a funeral are appropriate, physical expressions of what I value—worship, prayer, and people.

In his book, Fasting, Scot McKnight comments, “The Bible, because it advocates clearly that the person—heart, soul, mind, spirit, body—is embodied as a unity, assumes that fasting as body talk is inevitable.”

3. There are different kinds of fasts. Normally, a biblical fast involves abstaining from food from sunup to sundown. Sometimes a fast means going without food and water for 24 hours or longer (see Acts 9:9).

During Lent, many follow an abstinent fast by denying themselves certain foods that otherwise would be acceptable. A Daniel fast would be an example of this type of fasting. Daniel and his friends abstained from rich foods and consumed only vegetables and water during their training for the king’s service (see Daniel 1).

4. Fasting is not easy. If fasting was undemanding it would not represent your body identifying with the things that break God’s heart. So, expect the discomfort and hunger pains to be your voice for grieving  the lack of the Kingdom on earth.

5. Fasting involves planning. Depending on my chosen fast, I may not dine out much during these 40 days. Since my sons-still-living-at-home crowd is currently feasting, the refrigerator needs to contain man-food. I’ll plan ahead to avoid frustration and a negative reputation as a mother.

I can’t think of many spiritual practices that so invade our daily life as much as fasting. The rewards are worth it, but that discussion is for another post.

Are you fasting for Lent? If so, what does your fast look like? What is your body identifying with and what is it saying through your chosen fast? Share your thoughts with us in the comment section below.

In Him together, Susan Gaddis

For more information on this subject, click on Scot McKnight’s book Fasting in the far right sidebar.

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15
Feb
Blood on the Pew

592160_knife_in_hand__8I noticed blood on the pew the other day. War between brothers is a biblical principle—at least from Genesis to Revelation. Not that offense is godly, but it is a trait found in the Scriptures and in our churches.

Human beings are not the first to leave a fellowship because of offense. Lucifer beat us to it; he became offended at God. A rebellion ensued in heaven and one-third of the angels received the right boot of fellowship along with Lucifer.

Conflict seems to be a part of the package of any good church. I believe God guides us to situations where we will have every opportunity to take up an offense. Those that learn to process offense and conflict correctly should end up as leaders in God’s House (see 1 Corinthians 11:17-19). Unfortunately, few churches follow this guideline for choosing leadership, which results in more problems. 

I’m not implying that no one should ever leave a church because of issues with other people or with the leadership. No, occasionally leaving is a healthy option. Sometimes a departure is necessary for all to grow. I would add, however, that staying is often necessary for all to grow.

Did you know that every healthy human body has a multitude of germs dwelling within its blood and tissues? As long as the germs can’t dominate the atmosphere of the body, the health of the body is ensured.

It isn’t the absence of germs or offense that creates health in a church fellowship, but the ability to fight off offense and walk in love. The basic antidote is found in 1 Corinthians chapter 13.

In his book, Everybody’s Normal Till You Get to Know Them, John Ortberg states, “The early church was not a place where conflict didn’t exist. It was a place where people were committed and accountable to manage conflict well.”

So why do we assume it is the other guy that needs to cope with conflict well? Why do most of us embrace offense instead of process it? How many people do you know who no longer attend church because of being offended? I’d like to hear your point of view.

In Him together, Susan Gaddis

For more reading on the subject of offense, check out the chapters called “Ouch—That Hurt!” and “Sheep Bite, but Shepherds Barbecue” in my book, Help, I’m Stuck With These People for the Rest of Eternity!

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12
Feb
5 Ways to Make Valentine’s Day Simple, Special, and Inexpensive

1137562_book_of_love_1This year finances are tight, so we are spending Valentine’s Day at home—keeping it simple, special, and inexpensive. Here are my plans, but don’t tell Tom!

Here are 5 Ways to Make Valentine’s Day Simple

 

1.  Simple—Buy an inexpensive journal from the Dollar Store and begin a Valentine’s Journal for the love of your life. List the ways this person blesses you, reminds you of Jesus, and deepens your spiritual journey.

Record a favorite memory or the words to a song that speaks of your relationship. Tape a photo onto one of the pages or add the menu from the coffee shop you frequent together.

A Scripture from Song of Solomon or a poem placed here and there throughout the journal gives the book a romantic feel. Include a note in the front of the journal explaining your intentions of adding to the book in the years ahead.

2.  Simple—Enrich the atmosphere by using your finest dishes for a home cooked, special dinner and adding flowers or candles to the table. Pull out a CD you haven’t listened to in ages and play it for background music during the evening. You can also choose the genre of music that appeals to you on Pandora and play it free from your laptop. Eat, dance, and share the memories that mark your relationship as special.

3.  Simple—Do an Internet search for romantic quotes you can copy onto slips of paper. Leave these scattered around the house for your lover to find. For example, tape one to the bathroom mirror, another to the closet door, leave some on the bed pillow and put several on your dinner plates.

4.  Simple—Arrange for the children to be gone. We have given our teenagers several options for the evening—all away from home. If you have younger children, put them to bed early or see if a friend will take them for a few hours. If needed, trade childcare with another couple and celebrate Valentine’s Day on separate days. This way each couple can enjoy an evening free of the responsibility of children.

5.  Simple—Pray. Ask the Lord to bless your time together and honor it with his presence. After all, he is the Lover of your soul and your eternal Bridegroom. I think he knows a thing or two about romance!

What unique ideas can you add to this list? What Valentine’s Day traditions can you share with us? Write your thoughts in the comment section below. We would love to hear from you.

In Him together, Susan Gaddis

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Category: Relationships, Seasons, Soul Friends  Tags: , , , , , ,
10
Feb
Wanted: Wounded Storyteller

224994_window-frame_iiI loved staying at Grandma Bessie’s house. She had the best bedtime stories. Tales of raising two children during the Great Depression, running a day care in her home, and baking pastries for the local restaurants were all told as we sat in her big bed and listened to the night trains go through old San Luis Obispo.

One of my favorite stories concerned my grandfather, a gentle husband and faithful train engineer who romanced the committed spinster, Bessie. Andrew was seventeen years older then Grandma, but he stood out as the love of her life. The story always ended with his death three months before my father entered the world.

That is how I best remember my grandma—through her stories. It was only recently I realized her narratives were actually stories of personal hardship and deep wounds. Though in the telling they were no longer wounds, but stories of how Jesus had walked with her through the dark times of her life.

Hidden behind the adventure of gleaning summer fruit for the ingredients of winter pies sat the heaviness of a hard working, single mom. Grandma identified herself to me by her wounds—tragedies transformed into stories of Jesus, a gospel if you will, written on the heart of an old woman.

God uses two methods for transforming us into the image of Christ. First, there is his own life growing within us. Secondly, he uses the pain, suffering, and trauma of earthly life to kill anything that doesn’t smell holy in us. If handled wisely, the second makes room for the first.

We all know people who are identified by their unhealed wounds. They call themselves victims. Then there are those identified by their healed wounds. They look like Jesus. Grandma Bessie looked like Jesus to me.

Being known by our wounds is just another characteristic of the Backwards Kingdom. In referring to John 20:19-20, Henri Nouwen said, “It is of great spiritual importance that Jesus made himself known to his disciples by showing them his wounds.”

To whom are you showing your wounds?  Are your scars telling a story or a gospel? Will you grow into a wounded storyteller reciting your stories to your grandchildren curled up under a blanket on a cold winter night, or will you just grow old?

Please share your thoughts with us in the comment section below.

In Him together, Susan Gaddis

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08
Feb
How to Recognize a Soul Friend in a Facebook World
Marcie and Vickie

Marcie and Vickie

I have lots of friends, many on Facebook. The depth of these friendships varies, yet these people each walk a way with me in my life journey.

Some friendships are information oriented—Twitter type updates about our kids and life in general. Other friends trek with me in the twists and turns of daily life, laugh and cry at the appropriate times, and mark my days with memorable stories of life lived and grief endured.

On a deeper level are my soul friends—those companions on my path who walk beneath the surface of my life. Soul friends allow my good side and my bad side to be exposed; they don’t freak out when the bad side monopolizes my day. My “old man” and my “new man” are not hidden from them. These friends relate to me just as I am without unreal expectations.

Soul friends nourish my soul. Their love and forgiveness allow a depth to develop where I can discover all that God is calling me to become. By their attitudes, words, and actions, the grace of God is extended to help me face other kinds of relationships—the ones that are more expectation and obligation focused.

Most of my personal growth takes place as I walk with my soul friends. They hold me accountable in my shortcomings without judgment or condemnation. Encouragement is offered along with coffee and heavy cream. Confusion vanishes in conversations where laughter is mixed with an understanding of God, his word and his ways. Their companionship keeps me alert to the presence of Jesus and the movings of the Spirit Holy. Daily they lift me before the Throne of the One who guides our journeys.

Everyone needs a soul friend.  Who might your soul friends be and why? Share your thoughts with us in the comment section below. I’d love to hear from you.

And pass this post on to a soul friend, letting them know you value their friendship.

In Him together, Susan Gaddis

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05
Feb
How to Pray Your Child “Home”

394279_home_keyI believe in praying for my kids. I’m in the trenches of finishing raising child number six now, and prayer, as with the other five kids, continues to be my best bet for his survival and my sanity.

Titus 2:11–12 is the mainstay of my Scripture praying for my children. Although I use many, this one passage remains my favorite when I approach God’s throne discouraged and needing my Father to do another “kid intervention.” Basically, my Titus 2 prayer sounds like the following:

“For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men. That’s a lot of grace, Lord—enough to show your salvation to everyone who has ever lived. So I know there is as much grace as is necessary for (name of child) to come home to you in his heart, decisions, and actions.

I ask that your grace continue to teach (name of child) to say ‘No’ to ungodliness and worldly passions. You know, Lord, how much temptation my child faces on a daily basis. May your grace instruct (him/her) in how to live a self-controlled, upright and godly life in this present age—here and now—not just someday in the future. Lord, self-control, upright, and godly are hard things to walk in, even for an adult. I ask that you do what no one else can do in my child’s life—teach (him/her) to be a Christ follower.”

So far God’s track record in the Gaddis Department of Child Raising has been spotless. Parenting is messy at times, but God, for His part, has been faithful. All of the older kids love and serve the Lord, and I have every confidence that this last one will continue to be mentored by Grace in how to say “Yes” to self-control, an upright heart, and godly actions. I’m expecting Grace to teach him how to say “No” to ungodliness and worldly passions.

Am I the only parent who needs the God of Grace to mentor my children? What do you pray when you seek the Lord for the welfare of your kids? Please share your thoughts in the comment section below.

In Him together, Susan

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