Archive for the Category »Brain overhaul «

26
Jan
How to Have a Meaningful Conversation With Yourself
Self-talk with a banana

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So you talk to yourself. Everyone does. It’s called self-talk, and it is made up of four different voices clamoring for attention in your head (see last Thursday’s post on Every Christian Has a Multiple Personality Disorder.)

To review, you have four mental voices conversing at any given time:

  1. The voice of the Holy Spirit
  2. Your new-self voice
  3. Your old-self voice
  4. Little “thought starters” thrown your way by demonic busybodies

It isn’t easy to tune into our self-talk, let alone distinguish what the current conversation is about. Our new-self usually doesn’t recognize when our old-self is dominating the conversation. In fact, we are much more comfortable with our old-self doing the talking—it feels so much like home, it feels right, and dang, it feels good.  So let’s learn a little about the party going on in our heads.

Important information about your self-talk

1. Self-talk is so automatic and inaudible that you usually don’t notice it or how it is affecting your moods and reactions to people. Do you think much about what you were telling yourself right before you got angry with someone or had a pity party? I doubt it. Because of this, your old-self thinking goes unquestioned and unchallenged.

2. One little word or mental picture can contain a whole series of memories or thoughts. For example, a simple message such as “The IRS called, ” or “Your ex came by,” can trigger a whole range of emotions and thoughts that must be unraveled to find out what you are really telling yourself.

3. When your old-self is talking, it is typically irrational and almost always sounds right until it is challenged with Scripture truth.

How to manage your self-talk

I have a hard time following a conversation on a verbal level, let alone one going on internally. *eyes cross* I’ve discovered that tuning in to self-talk takes practice—lots of practice.

It’s important that you learn to slow down and notice your internal monologue—eavesdrop on yourself. You have been operating according to your old-self for years, so it’s going to be difficult to “take your thoughts captive” (see 2 Corinthians 10:5).

1. Stop throughout the day and ask yourself what you have been thinking about, especially if you have been feeling any type of negative emotion. Identify what you have been feeling and thinking.

2. Has that inner conversation drawn you closer to the Lord and others, or has it distanced you from God and others? (Hint: distancing is bad.)

3. Ask the Holy Spirit what his opinion is on your thought processes, then listen. Closely.

4. Does your inner conversation line up with the way Scripture instructs you to conduct your thinking? (See Philippians 4:8; Ephesians 4:31; Matthew 15:18-9)

5. Challenge your old-self thinking with Scripture truth and the revelation given you by the Holy Spirit earlier. (See #3)

Your actions and reactions are tied into your inner dialogue. Therefore it would be wise to start monitoring that inner conversation and learn to govern your thought life. Your relationships, and therefore, your spiritual legacy depend on it.

For more on self-talk:

If you find your self-talk consumed with stress because of what another is, or isn’t, doing, see my post on Do You Suffer as a Mental Busybody?

If you find yourself having anxiety conversations in your head, see my post on How to Leave a Problem in God’s Hands and Not Steal It Back.

Now it’s your turn: In the comment section below, share with us what works for you in managing unhealthy self-talk.

Susan Gaddis, Helping you build your spiritual legacy

 

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19
Jan
Every Christian Has a Multiple Personality Disorder
Crazy old lady on Holy in the Daily

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I hate to have to tell you this, but you have a multiple personality disorder—an old you and a new you. I know—people have been telling you that for years, but you just didn’t want to believe it. Actually, it’s in the Bible:

You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness (Ephesians 4:22—24 niv).

There you have it—you have to “put off” your old-self and “put on” your new-self. Sounds like a script for a Stephen King novel to me.

Changing your old-self into your new-self begins in your mind; in the way you think and process information. Why is this important? Well—if you don’t process information correctly, your relationships will suffer. (Just ask your spouse.)

At any given point in time you will have four voices going on inside your head and they will usually all sound like your own voice. Yes, I know—weird. These four voices make up your inner dialogue, called “self-talk.” They are:

The Holy Spirit

The Holy Spirit resides deep within your spirit and is always alert to what you are thinking and feeling. He desires to communicate and fellowship with you all the time. Although his voice will sound like your own, it will carry a note of gracious authority and will always speak according to scriptural truth. Often you won’t even hear his voice, but will sense in a moment what he is thinking or feeling.

Your “new-self”

This is the new you! This is the spirit part of you that was totally recreated at salvation and it is also the soul part of you that is being renewed in your thoughts, emotions, and will areas.

This new you thinks according to Scripture and acts like Jesus. When your new-self is in communion with the Holy Spirit, you will find God’s power working life within you and affecting all your relationships.

Your “old-self”

This is the old you that dominated your life before you came to know Christ—your old ways of thinking, feeling, and acting. You know, that ugly part of you that you’d like to forget. The truth is, your old “you” still wants to dominate!

Unfortunately, it is part of your sin nature and is connected to your body. Your old-self will be a part of you until you get rid of your body at death. So… you will be dealing with the old-self part of you for a long time.

You have to constantly treat your old-self as if it were a dead, shriveled up, ugly thing that should be buried (see Romans 6). Any part of your thought life that is still thinking according to your old-self habit patterns will work death within you and will contaminate your relationships.

Demonic voices

Sometimes a demon will throw a thought into your mind aimed at your old-self. It will usually sound like your own voice in your head, but it isn’t because it is speaking something contrary to Truth.

What you do with this “thought starter” is up to you. You can recognize it as false, rebuke it, and refuse to give it any place in your self-talk, which is an internal action of your new-self.

Or you can grab onto the thought starter and incorporate it into your inner monologue, which is what your old-self will do (bad decision). The resulting inner conversation will work death in you and in your relationships.

Let’s summarize:

  • You have four voices in your head competing for your attention at any given time.
  • The voices you ignore will eventually dim, but never completely go away.
  • The voices you pay attention to will determine your choices and actions.

So what will it be? Your new-self and the Spirit Holy, or your old-self and those pesky little demonic thought starters that can ruin your day?

Tune in next Thursday, and I’ll give you some tips for managing your self-talk.

Now it’s your turn: What’s your signal that you have given your old-self too much place in your thinking?

Susan Gaddis, Helping you build your spiritual legacy

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Category: Brain overhaul, Personal growth, Spiritual Warfare  Tags: , , , , , ,
12
Jan
Discover the Christian’s Secret to Business Success

Sign pointing to successWell dang, I’ve started a new direction in my writing and need to know the secret to success. I’ve check Google for articles and mentors in the Succeeding in Business Department and have received all kinds of advice—most indicating that there is no magic bullet unless I purchase their “Magic Bullet Online Marketing Course” that will guarantee me instant, millionaire, awesomeness business success.

So I’ve gone back to what I know and value. I can do the work of getting my books up in ebook format, updating my website and blog, and learning the ins and outs of social marketing, but none of it will mean diddly-squat if I neglect this one, foundational ingredient for success in business:

Keep this Book of the Law always on your lips; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful (Joshua 1:8 NIV).

First bit of work, which is more important than any other work I do for my business, is to meditate on God’s Word during the day and let it marinate in me during the night.

OH, but there’s more! (I copied that line from the Magic Bullet Online Marketing Course ad.) The next condition is that I have to be strong and courageous—unafraid in the face of economic hardships and a huge amount of competition. *looks for the nearest blanket to hide under*

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go (Joshua 1:9 NIV).

Are you feeling overwhelmed yet? Ready to drop this like a hot potato and purchase that online millionaire’s course mentioned earlier?

Let’s break this down, shall we?

My responsibility:

  • Memorize, meditate, and marinate in God’s Word.
  • Obey the instructions I find written there—think them, do them, and let them adjust my attitude and my actions.
  • Don’t let my self-talk go the direction of discouragement and fear. Grab onto the Word that has been marinating inside of me and let it be what motivates me—not fear.

God’s responsibility:

  • He will be with me wherever I go—through all the twists and turns of running a business and learning new things.
  • Fulfill his promise of making my business prosperous and successful.

So the questions now are:

Will I mind my part of the business and let God take care of his?

Can I keep my mental musings out of his arena of responsibility and focus on mine?

I have a little book of flip cards where I write down all the promises God has for my business. Joshua 1:8-9 heads the pack. I read it, recite it, pray it, and muse on it everyday. Amazingly, the Spirit Holy will bring those words up to my memory when I’m tempted to let discouragement invade my mental musings. (I think that has something to do with the Spirit being the guard of peace around my heart and mind mentioned in Philippians 4:6-7.)

So, what you have found helpful in marinating in God’s Word, and how has that influenced your business? Inquiring minds want, and need, to know.

Susan Gaddis, Helping you build your spiritual legacy

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Category: At work, Brain overhaul, Ebooks, The Backward Kingdom  Tags: , , , , , , , ,
27
Oct
How to Leave a Problem in God’s Hands and Not Steal It Back
thief photo on Holy in the Daily blog

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How does one put a problem in God’s hands and not steal it right back, more often than not, unintentionally? This question was asked a few weeks ago on my Author Susan Gaddis Facebook page. Who doesn’t put something in God’s care and forget to leave it there? Guilty—all of us have.

Usually when we neglect to leave a problem in God’s hands the “stealing it back” comes in the form of mental musing over the problem. You know, those anxiety conversations that we have with ourselves in our mind, act out in our imagination, and eventually spill over onto someone else’s peaceful day.

Therefore we have to catch those little though starters of doubt or anxiety before they become long conversations in our self-talk. This is what 2 Corinthians 10:5 is referring to when it tells us to take every thought captive and make it obedient to Christ Jesus. Here are some tips on how to do that:

1. After you leave your problem with the Lord, tune into your self-talk throughout the day. Identify any little thought that wants to hang out with the problem you left with God. After all, this isn’t your problem any more; it is God’s—so stay out of God’s business and mind your own business.

2. Mentally grab the invading thought and hold it up against the truth of God’s Word. Quote a Scripture promise at the sneaky thought such as Psalm 138:8, “The Lord will perfect that which concerns me; Your mercy, O Lord, endures forever; Do not forsake the works of Your hands” (NKJV).

3. Pray the Scripture promise, talk it over in your self-talk, and use it to rebuke the enemy if necessary. Personally, I like to find a Scripture promise for every problem that I leave with the Lord. I keep them on flip cards, which makes them easy to keep next to my bed or in my purse.

4. Put the problem behind you. Where you place your focus will determine if your mind and emotions fixate on the problem or on something more productive. See my post on How to Put Your Problems Behind You.

If the problem seems to continually follow you home—out of the Lord’s hands and into your living room—perhaps you never really left it with the Lord in the first place. Maybe you just had a discussion with God about the problem, and then you tucked the problem under your arm and left his presence. Consider spending some quality time with Jesus talking the problem over and getting all your fears, anxieties, and concerns expressed.

Emotions are real and need to be processed. So process them with the Lord before you leave the problem in his care. Then go back to #1 above and begin again. Honestly, what I’ve outlined here takes practice and doesn’t come easy. Give yourself a little grace and keep at it.

What do you do that helps you leave your problems in the Lord’s hands and not steal them back? Which of the above tips do you practice, and which one might be a new tool for your personal growth toolbox as a follower of Christ? I’d love to hear from you in the comment section below.

In Him together, Susan Gaddis

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13
Oct
Quiz for Living Free of Your Past

Past, Present, and Future sign for Holy in the Daily blogAre you living free of your past? Living free of our past mistakes and immaturity is often as simple as choosing what we listen to and believe.

I recently had the Lord show me a picture of a man standing next to a cage in which a woman was sitting. I walked up and stood next to the man as he spoke to the woman. The woman seemed unaware of the man and his words, but he kept speaking.

As I listened, I realized that the man was telling the woman all the things that were wrong with her. Every once in a while, he would mention something good about the woman, but the vast majority of his comments were critical. The women continued to remain unaware of the man and his words.

Slowly I realized that the woman was me—or me five years ago. And much of what the man said was true, at least five years ago. It seemed odd, because the man would often turn to the current me to make sure I was listening to his speech to the old me in the cage.

After listening for a few minutes, I calmly walked off. The man wasn’t going to stop his verbal onslaught, but I didn’t have to stick around to listen to it. The criticisms were no longer valid as I had grown and changed much in the last five years. The woman in the cage was a memory only.

Living Free of Your Past Quiz

  1. How often do you hold yourself, or others, to things of the past that are no longer valid?
  2. Do you allow your perceptions to change as God continues to change you, and others, into his image?
  3. Do you listen to the speeches of the enemy in your head? How do you know?
  4. Do you realize that another’s negative opinion of you is not God’s opinion?
  5. Do you realize that your judgment of another is not God’s judgment?
  6. Can you allow others to judge you falsely and not let their judgments dictate who you are?

Are you the man or the woman in the picture? Can you walk away from the cage and the accuser to live the life God is currently giving you? After musing on this picture for awhile, I found I had been both the man and the woman at different times in my life. How about you? Share your thoughts in the comment section below.

In Him together, Susan Gaddis

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15
Sep
How to Talk to Yourself When You Feel Misunderstood or Rejected

Self Talk for rejection Do you ever feel misunderstood, misrepresented, or rejected? Yep, me too. Some years ago I came up with a pep-talk to give myself whenever these unwanted feelings surfaced. Since then I’ve shared it with many I counsel after they have extended forgiveness to someone, but are still feeling the hurt of the wounding.

Try this self-talk exercise the next time you feel misunderstood, misrepresnted, or rejected. Just insert the name of the person you are struggling with in the blanks below.

Self-talk for when I feel misunderstood, misrepresented, or rejected

Jesus was often misunderstood and misrepresented in his relationships with people, even his disciples. Can I expect anything less?

Jesus was misunderstood. Therefore I can expect to be misunderstood.

Jesus was misrepresented. Therefore I can expect to be misrepresented.

Jesus was rejected. Therefore I can expect to be rejected (both emotional and physically).

My identity, security, and worth as a (mother, father, parent, child, or friend) does not come from having a perfect relationship with another person. No human can ever supply what I need for security, worth and identity. No human will every really understand me or represent me correctly. No human can ever really provide the emotional safety I really need in a relationship.

My identity, security, safety, and worth as a (mother, father, parent, child, or friend) can only be supplied by my daily relationship with the Lord.

Being “right” is not an issue with me. I will allow myself to be perceived as “wrong” even when I feel I am right. I will not try to overly explain myself or defend my opinion. I know that Jesus understands me and can represent me when he feels it is needed. ____________ perception of me cannot hold me in bondage.

Therefore, I release _____________ from my own personal judgments and expectations. I give them permission to misunderstand and misrepresent me. I give them permission to disagree with me.

When ___________ misunderstands, misrepresents, disagrees, or rejects me, it is his problem, not mine. I will listen to his opinion and seek to understand what he is stating. I will honor him by briefly explaining my position, but if he still does not see the situation from my perspective, then I refuse to make his opinion my problem. His opinion will not steal my joy or dictate my emotional state. I will refuse to allow my thoughts to be consumed with his problem.

When I feel frustrated and angry over an issue that I feel is being misunderstood or misrepresented by _______________, I will “pour out my complaint” before the Lord and leave it there! (Psalm 142:1-7) Therefore, the problem no longer rests upon my shoulders, but has been declared to be ______________ problem and/or the Lord’s problem.

So what kind of self-talk do you engage in when you feel misunderstood, misrepresented, or rejected? Has it worked? Leave your thoughts in the comment section below.

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In Him together, Susan Gaddis

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08
Aug
Understanding Grace–A Monday’s Moment Clip

Understanding grace and grasping God’s definition of grace is, in my opinion, something we will strive for throughout eternity future. My current understanding of grace is constantly developing as my life is daily interrupted with God’s grace and mercy. I don’t get it. I teach on grace. I explain it in counseling sessions. But I am still on a huge learning curve when it comes to God’s grace. This short Monday’s Morning clip by The Skit Guys helps in my journey of understanding grace.

If you received this post via RSS or email and cannot view it, please visit my Holy in the Daily blog to receive your dose of grace for the week.

I can relate to Peter–I will avoid the truth of grace when I feel unworthy. How about you? What is your biggest hurdle to overcome in understanding grace? I’d love to have your input.

In Him together, Susan Gaddis

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01
Jul
Viewing Problems Through God’s Eyes

I don’t know about you, but when problems arise in my life, my gut reaction is to cut and run—or take a deep breath and fight my way through it. Slowly I’m learning to view problems through God’s eyes—seeing difficulties as an opportunity rather than a setback. As someone who has to oversee many different arenas, I need to learn to take my glasses off and view problems through God’s eyes.

Paul Hawken gives this perspective: “Good management is the art of making problems so interesting and their solutions so constructive that everyone wants to get to work and deal with them.”

I’m not so sure I have learned that art yet. At least no one is jumping on board my bandwagon to deal with the latest problem that has landed in my lap. I don’t think the government has learned this one yet either. How does one make problems interesting and solutions so constructive that everyone wants to be part of your team—whatever that team may be?

So this simple post is a request for insight. How do you make an art of approaching problems in such a way that people, including yourself, see them as really interesting and can’t wait to help create constructive solutions?

Anyone care to comment, or are you all going to cut and run too?

In Him together, Susan Gaddis

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29
Jun
6 Reasons for Laughter and Silliness

Summer is not summer unless laughter accompanies grandchildren in our backyard pool. Children seem to know better than adults that silliness is part of godliness. After all, joy is the atmosphere of heaven.

Have you had your silly pill for the day? If not, you should. Here are 6 reasons why you need laughter and silliness:

  1. “If people did not sometimes do silly things, nothing intelligent would ever get done.” –Ludwig Wittgenstein
  2. “Mirth is God’s medicine. Everybody ought to bathe in it.” –Henry Ward Beecher
  3. “Laughter is an instant vacation.” –Milton Berle
  4. “We find it hard to believe that other people’s thoughts are as silly as our own, but they probably are.” –James Harvey Robinson
  5. “Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly.” Rose Franken
  6. “The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.” –E. E. Cummings

When was the last time you were silly, and what did you do that was silly?

In Him together, Susan Gaddis

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Category: Brain overhaul, Humor  Tags: , , , , ,
11
May
Blindness is Required for an Aha! Moment

I just realized that blindness is required for an Aha! moment. Yes, I know–I’m a little slow on the uptake at times. For the first time in my life I awake to view the sharp details of my bedroom dresser and the wrinkles on Husband’s face instead of fuzzy colors meshed together. It’s true—only with clear sight can we know how blind we have been.

Is this how the blind man felt after receiving his sight? I feel like a kid on Christmas morning. *silly grin* Really—this is amazing! I once was blind, but now I see. Dr. Johnson is my new favorite-person-of-the-month. I have 20-20 vision in my right eye where Near-Sighted-Since-Birth fought with a cataract for total visual domination. The left eye is scheduled for renovation on May 17th and then I shall conquer the world! Maybe.

I still need multifocal lenses in my soul. For some reason Jesus doesn’t seem to want to wave his spiritual scalpel over my Near-Sighted-Since-Birth soul and instantly replace all cataracts with the multifocal lens of the Spirit Holy. It seems to be an ongoing surgical process—sight on the installment plan. Not nearly as much fun as Dr. Johnson’s better vision plan, but it does come with an eternal lifetime guarantee.

I do awake every now and then to the clear details of a situation where once only fuzzy colors had meshed my opinions together into a not so godly near-sighted mess. Spiritual cataracts fall off. A sliver of God’s multifocal lens glimmers into place. Maturity happens. Slowly.

Why does spiritual sight reveal blindness? Why can’t we just know we are blind? You would think a blind person would know he was blind, but that isn’t usually the case when it comes to spiritual things. We don’t see our blindness until we have sight. Go figure. Just another reason we call it the Backward Kingdom.

Comments? Questions? Opinions? What’s your experience with spiritual blindness?

In Him together, Susan Gaddis

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