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Self-talk with a banana

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So you talk to yourself. Everyone does. It’s called self-talk, and it is made up of four different voices clamoring for attention in your head (see last Thursday’s post on Every Christian Has a Multiple Personality Disorder.)

To review, you have four mental voices conversing at any given time:

  1. The voice of the Holy Spirit
  2. Your new-self voice
  3. Your old-self voice
  4. Little “thought starters” thrown your way by demonic busybodies

It isn’t easy to tune into our self-talk, let alone distinguish what the current conversation is about. Our new-self usually doesn’t recognize when our old-self is dominating the conversation. In fact, we are much more comfortable with our old-self doing the talking—it feels so much like home, it feels right, and dang, it feels good.  So let’s learn a little about the party going on in our heads.

Important information about your self-talk

1. Self-talk is so automatic and inaudible that you usually don’t notice it or how it is affecting your moods and reactions to people. Do you think much about what you were telling yourself right before you got angry with someone or had a pity party? I doubt it. Because of this, your old-self thinking goes unquestioned and unchallenged.

2. One little word or mental picture can contain a whole series of memories or thoughts. For example, a simple message such as “The IRS called, ” or “Your ex came by,” can trigger a whole range of emotions and thoughts that must be unraveled to find out what you are really telling yourself.

3. When your old-self is talking, it is typically irrational and almost always sounds right until it is challenged with Scripture truth.

How to manage your self-talk

I have a hard time following a conversation on a verbal level, let alone one going on internally. *eyes cross* I’ve discovered that tuning in to self-talk takes practice—lots of practice.

It’s important that you learn to slow down and notice your internal monologue—eavesdrop on yourself. You have been operating according to your old-self for years, so it’s going to be difficult to “take your thoughts captive” (see 2 Corinthians 10:5).

1. Stop throughout the day and ask yourself what you have been thinking about, especially if you have been feeling any type of negative emotion. Identify what you have been feeling and thinking.

2. Has that inner conversation drawn you closer to the Lord and others, or has it distanced you from God and others? (Hint: distancing is bad.)

3. Ask the Holy Spirit what his opinion is on your thought processes, then listen. Closely.

4. Does your inner conversation line up with the way Scripture instructs you to conduct your thinking? (See Philippians 4:8; Ephesians 4:31; Matthew 15:18-9)

5. Challenge your old-self thinking with Scripture truth and the revelation given you by the Holy Spirit earlier. (See #3)

Your actions and reactions are tied into your inner dialogue. Therefore it would be wise to start monitoring that inner conversation and learn to govern your thought life. Your relationships, and therefore, your spiritual legacy depend on it.

For more on self-talk:

If you find your self-talk consumed with stress because of what another is, or isn’t, doing, see my post on Do You Suffer as a Mental Busybody?

If you find yourself having anxiety conversations in your head, see my post on How to Leave a Problem in God’s Hands and Not Steal It Back.

Now it’s your turn: In the comment section below, share with us what works for you in managing unhealthy self-talk.

Susan Gaddis, Helping you build your spiritual legacy

 

Tom quickly hit the breaks as I struggled to see what kind of danger was threatening us with so little traffic around. The car coming toward us also hit their breaks forty feet in front of ours. What the …?

Without warning our busy schedule paused for three minutes to watch a proud, mother duck lead her six ducklings across the road. A sense of wonder lifted my heart as the little parade waddled into the bushes. Big grins mirrored ours from the opposite car. All of us had shared a moment we would not soon forget.

Sometimes all it takes to catch the Holy in the Daily is a pause and a wonder. Grab that cup of coffee or tea, sit back, and enjoy this short clip of wonder from the London Symphony Orchestra and wild life cameraman and travel journalist, Dylan Winter.

Now it’s your turn! What’s one Pause and Wonder moment you’ll never forget?

If you liked this post, pass it on. I’d love for you to spread the wonder.

Susan Gaddis, Helping you build your spiritual legacy

And…. in case you are interested, my Building a Spiritual Legacy newsletter goes out this Wednesday full of great links and tips. You can sign up for it here.

Sign pointing to successWell dang, I’ve started a new direction in my writing and need to know the secret to success. I’ve check Google for articles and mentors in the Succeeding in Business Department and have received all kinds of advice—most indicating that there is no magic bullet unless I purchase their “Magic Bullet Online Marketing Course” that will guarantee me instant, millionaire, awesomeness business success.

So I’ve gone back to what I know and value. I can do the work of getting my books up in ebook format, updating my website and blog, and learning the ins and outs of social marketing, but none of it will mean diddly-squat if I neglect this one, foundational ingredient for success in business:

Keep this Book of the Law always on your lips; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful (Joshua 1:8 NIV).

First bit of work, which is more important than any other work I do for my business, is to meditate on God’s Word during the day and let it marinate in me during the night.

OH, but there’s more! (I copied that line from the Magic Bullet Online Marketing Course ad.) The next condition is that I have to be strong and courageous—unafraid in the face of economic hardships and a huge amount of competition. *looks for the nearest blanket to hide under*

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go (Joshua 1:9 NIV).

Are you feeling overwhelmed yet? Ready to drop this like a hot potato and purchase that online millionaire’s course mentioned earlier?

Let’s break this down, shall we?

My responsibility:

  • Memorize, meditate, and marinate in God’s Word.
  • Obey the instructions I find written there—think them, do them, and let them adjust my attitude and my actions.
  • Don’t let my self-talk go the direction of discouragement and fear. Grab onto the Word that has been marinating inside of me and let it be what motivates me—not fear.

God’s responsibility:

  • He will be with me wherever I go—through all the twists and turns of running a business and learning new things.
  • Fulfill his promise of making my business prosperous and successful.

So the questions now are:

Will I mind my part of the business and let God take care of his?

Can I keep my mental musings out of his arena of responsibility and focus on mine?

I have a little book of flip cards where I write down all the promises God has for my business. Joshua 1:8-9 heads the pack. I read it, recite it, pray it, and muse on it everyday. Amazingly, the Spirit Holy will bring those words up to my memory when I’m tempted to let discouragement invade my mental musings. (I think that has something to do with the Spirit being the guard of peace around my heart and mind mentioned in Philippians 4:6-7.)

So, what you have found helpful in marinating in God’s Word, and how has that influenced your business? Inquiring minds want, and need, to know.

Susan Gaddis, Helping you build your spiritual legacy

Happy New Year! How will you be Jesus with skin on in 2012? Will you make a difference in someone’s life? This short Monday’s Moment clip shows how easy it is to change the way you see the needs of others.

 If you received this post via RSS or email and cannot view the clip, please visit my Holy in the Daily blog to get your New Year’s inspiration.

How have you changed in the way you view the less fortunate? Share your story with us in the comment section below.

Susan Gaddis, Helping you build your spiritual legacy

SundialWow, another year has passed for this self-reflection junkie. I reflect, muse, consider, meditate, ponder, and ruminate so I can grow in my relationship with Jesus. If you regularly read my posts, you know I don’t have it all together, but  I share what I have learned, and am learning, through walking with the Holy in the daily.

Thanks for stopping by and listening to the musings that work their way up from my thoughts and into cyberspace. It hasn’t always been easy writing about the processes that the Spirit Holy is working inside of me. Your company has made the journey worth it. Someday in eternity future we will sit down over coffee or tea, and we’ll remember these times of growing together in Jesus. I look forward to hearing your story from start to finish. *smile and longing look*

For now, I’ve decided to take a look back at the most popular posts of 2011. These are the ones that got the most comments, page clicks, or just meant a lot to me (author privilege *grin*).

The Ten Most Popular Posts of 2011 

1. How to Leave a Problem in God’s Hands and Not Steal It Back

2. Decorate Your Home With a Godly Heritage

3. How to Respond to a Drama Queen

4. Praying Your Child Through a Difficult Time

5. 5 Tips to Avoid Morning Depression

6. How to Pray a Celtic Christian Circle Prayer

7. Five Tips to Draw Close to God When He Seems Distant

8. How to Quiet Your Inner Assumption Lawyer

9. Five Thoughts for Adjusting to an Empty Nest

10. How To Talk to Yourself When You Feel Misunderstood or Rejected

What have you learned in your God journey in 2011? Did you grow closer to Jesus? Are you in better spiritual shape entering into 2012 than you were entering 2011? Share your comments below–I’d love to hear from you.

Susan Gaddis, Helping you build your spiritual legacy


ContentmentThis week I discovered that:

* Santa has elves, but I have Target.

* If my husband really loves me, he’ll buy me a diamond from Kay Jewelers.

* If my son is going to succeed in college, he needs a MacBook Pro.

Oh really? The Christmas season could be called the “season of discontent” for many people.

Our culture thrives on discontent. A healthy economy depends on the discontent of people so they will rush out and spend money on something they don’t have that society says they really need. Advertisements are designed around discontent, and if it isn’t there, an ad will create it.

Richard Swenson comments, “Discontent has so many disadvantages one wonders why it is popular. It can suffocate freedom, leaving us in bondage to our desires. It can poison relationships with jealousy and competition. It often rewards blessing with ingratitude as we grumble.”

The book of Hebrews gives us this command and promise, “Be content with what you have, because God has said, ‘Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you’” (Hebrews 13:5). Regardless of what kind of lack we encounter we are to be content, because God’s presence is enough.

Discontentment means that we are looking to something or someone to fulfill us other than Jesus. It is a signal that our focus in life has shifted off of the only One who can take care of us.

When we buy into discontent, we are unconsciously teaching our children, our neighbors, our co-workers, and everyone who is watching us, that Jesus isn’t enough. That’s scary!

It’s a Secret!

St. Paul tells us that contentment doesn’t come naturally. It is a secret that has to be discovered and learned, regardless of our circumstances. “I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation” (Philippians 4:12).

I’m not so sure I want to learn contentment. However I recently took a closer look at 1 Timothy 6:5, “But godliness with contentment is great gain.” Hmmm. Seems that the only way to great gain in life is by combining godliness with contentment. Since I would like to have “great gain” in the area of my relationships, life circumstances, and within myself, I guess I’m going to have to really focus on learning contentment as I grow more and more to look like Jesus (godliness).

Contentment is not compliancy. When you are complacent, you give in to the situation. When you are content, you receive grace to create and grow. According to Titus 2:11, 12, it is grace that teaches you how to live an upright and godly life. I don’t know about you, but if Grace is the teacher, I want to be the student!

Four areas where you can learn contentment

Learn to be content with your income

G. K. Chesterton said it well, “There are two ways to get enough. One is to continue to accumulate more and more. The other is to desire less.” Guess my desires are going have to change.

Learn to be content with your circumstances

According to St. Paul in Philippians 4:12 (mentioned above), contentment doesn’t depend on circumstances, good or bad. See 2 Corinthians 11:23-27 for a look at the circumstances Paul found himself in when he made this statement. What are you complaining about! Being miserable or unhappy are valid feelings, as long as you don’t let them dictate your life. You can be miserable and still be content.

Learn to be content with your relationships

Are you single and wishing you were married? Married and wishing you were single? Working with people that tick you off? If you are human, you will suffer dysfunctional relationships because we are all dysfunctional at some level—it’s called a “sin nature.” Get used to it. Richard Swenson has said, “God commanded contentment because he knew we would need it to anchor right relationships.”

Learn to be content with yourself

How many of us are discontented with our weight, how we look, our hair cut, or lack of hair, growing older, or ….? We all have feelings of imperfection, but we are not to be controlled by such feelings. Easier said than done—pass the grace, please.

When you choose grace, you choose contentment. It’s a choice you keep on making through every situation of life. Contentment is grace working through you and testifying to the world that Jesus is more than enough.

Want to hear the complete 35-minute message? Click this play icon to listen right from my blog, or download the message to listen to later. (You’ll need to turn your speakers on high, as the volume is rather low.)

Questions:

What will you choose this Christmas? Will contentment be on your New Year’s resolution list for 2012? It is on mine. Share your thoughts by clicking on the green “comment” below.

If you found this post helpful, please pass it on by clicking one of the “Be Sociable, Share” buttons below.

Susan Gaddis, Helping you build your spiritual legacy

window view at my Finnish home

Window view from our Finnish "home"

My home is decorated with a Godly heritage, and the decorating has taken years. I thought about this fact as I cradled my hot cup of coffee during a pause in my Christmas decorating.

Surveying the living room and kitchen from my perch on the couch, I noticed the hole in the vinyl floorcovering in front of the oven. The hole appeared about a week after the vinyl was put in when one of my sons dropped a hot skillet onto it. I’ve kept a kitchen throw rug over the hole in the years since the “christening.”  Today, the rug is in the laundry for a weekly cleaning. The laundry room floor, as well the hallway, is the original vinyl, over 27 years old. *sigh*

You’d think by now we would have replaced it all, but with the cost of raising six kids and other expenses that come with life, we haven’t. There. I’ve said it. My house reminds me of my grandmother’s–old, worn in places, and holding memories in each bump and bruise.

Luhtala home

The Luhtala home in Finland--our farmhouse "home"

This last summer we stayed in an old farmhouse while visiting Finland for our son Jonathan’s wedding. As soon as I walked in the door I felt the spiritual atmosphere of a godly heritage lived out in that home.

The small house stood empty now, but the memories smiled at me from the photos on the walls and the stash of knitted mittens in the mudroom. Loving family had lost a baby daughter and raised godly sons under a roof that kept the dark winters outside. Scrapbooks revealed a routine of worship services held in the main living area. Something else besides the physical memories lingered in that place–a sense of peace. The week we spent in that home remains one of my fondest memories of Finland.

Call me odd, but I’ve been an intercessor long enough to know that the physical realm is often influenced by the spiritual realm and visa versa. When a house has held prayer meetings, laughter, tears, and the daily living of honest Christian folk, there remains a sense of the Lord’s presence. You can feel it, and it wells up within your spirit connecting you with the kindred spirits who birthed the things of God in that house.

If you come to my home, you won’t find fancy decorating or the latest furniture styles. You’ll just find peace, people, and lots of books stacked next to each couch and comfy chair. Royal Rangers have graced my halls as well as many home groups and prayer meetings. Most of the children have been raised and the lessons taught and learned. Some of the dishes are chipped and the glasses don’t match, and that is how I like it. My house is almost done with its role in raising a godly heritage. I believe a little of our spiritual legacy has been deposited in this house for the next family who lives here. I hope they feel God here.

Are you decorating your home with a godly heritage? Are you leaving a spiritual legacy in the place where you live? Share your thoughts by clicking the green Leave a Comment link below.

(For more on this subject of creating a godly heritage in the place where you live, see my post “Is Your Home a Thin Place?“)

Susan Gaddis, Helping you build a spiritual legacy.

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Superhero woman fights with broom and duster

Photo courtesy of ©iStockphoto.com

There are some things I just don’t like to do—like confrontation, cleaning toilets, and saving the world. However, all these unpleasant things, among many others, lay claim to my life on a regular basis.

To make matters worse, I’m supposed to be joyful when I encounter things I don’t want to do (James 1:2,3). That’s a hard assignment. I’m not real good at the “count it as joy” part of things. I’m much better at the “complain and groan” part of doing something I don’t want to do. So I’ve come up with some tips on attitude adjustment for my toolbox of “how to” stuff.

How to Get Something Done When You Don’t Want to Do It

 

Get Perspective

Recognize that the unpleasant activity will only be for a certain amount of time, not forever. Put a time frame on how long the activity should take, and think about something pleasant to do after you are done.

Get organized

Break things down into smaller units to accomplish. The Israelites took only one city at a time when they conquered the Promised Land.

Get prepared

If you are cleaning the toilet, get the cleaning supplies set out. If confrontation is part of your day, get your heart right and rehearse your wording. If you need to save the world, dry clean your cape and shine up your boots. You’ll feel much better about things once you have done your preparation.

Get praying

You weren’t designed to do big things or have a great attitude in your own strength. Joy is a byproduct of connecting to the One who provides the joy.

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him (James 1:2-5 NIV1984).

Get determined

You’re an adult. Nobody’s going to live your life for you. Put on your big girl panties, or big boy shorts, and jump in and get the job done.

Yesterday I took my own advice, faced the pile of bills sitting in my to-do box, and felt great when all had been paid and the budget adjusted. What are you facing that you don’t want to do. Which of the above tips do you find most helpful and why?

In Him together, Susan Gaddis

Supernatural follower of Jesus As a follower of Christ I often find myself with low energy and little strength. It seems I try so hard to live according to God’s directives, yet fall so short. I know my strength is often located in the wrong place—me!

Now, I’ve got a lot of talents and a lot of experience, so you would think I have a lot to be strong in. But that’s just the problem—my abilities, wisdom, and actions just aren’t enough to walk rightly with Jesus. He is walking on paths my natural humanity can’t follow.

2 Timothy 2:1 tells me to “be strong in the grace that is in Christ Jesus.” Therefore, the key to following Jesus is grace.  Rather than being strong in Susan, I am to be strong in grace. But what does that mean—do I need to find a gym where I can schedule a regular grace workout?

The word strong means to be enabled or energized. So the verse can be read this way, “Be enabled and energized by the grace that is in Christ Jesus.”

The grace that is in Christ is very, very powerful and there is a lot of it. Titus 2:11-12 tells me that it was grace that brought salvation to all mankind—that’s a lot of powerful grace—more than I will ever need.

But grace didn’t just bring salvation to me—grace also empowers me. That’s why I have to be strong in grace, not strong in Susan.

Signals that you aren’t tapping into grace:

Frustration, irritability, stress, discouragement, lack of joy, tiredness, and a lot of emotional sweat!

How to be strong in grace:

Interestingly, to be strong in grace means that I don’t try to “live the Christian life.” Being strong in grace means I get close to Jesus and listen for the voice of the Spirit. Jesus and the Spirit become my focus, not what I should or shouldn’t be doing.

Grace and truth come through Jesus (John 1:17), and as I lean into him and rest in him, truth is understood and grace empowers me to walk in that truth.

Read the Word—that’s the main location Jesus deposited his truth. Get to know Jesus through his Word. Talk with him. Quiet yourself and listen for his Spirit’s voice speaking within you. Use the Scriptures as a way to lean into Jesus, growing closer by spending time with him.

Then when the Spirit Holy brings something to your attention out of the Word, rest in it. Whatever truth the Spirit reveals to you cannot be embraced in your own strength, even if it seems like a simple directive.

Ask the Spirit for the grace needed to walk out the truth he has brought to your attention. Process it with him mentally, emotionally, and within your spirit. Then simply do what he says. His grace will enable and energize you to do what he is directing.

Do the same thing with whatever the Spirit brings before you. If God captures your attention with a sermon, listen to what the Spirit is communicating, but don’t try to walk in it outside of grace. Supernatural living wasn’t meant to be engaged through natural abilities.

Signals that you are tapping into grace:

Peace, joy, wisdom, rest, counsel, strength, courage, and energy.

It is only through being strong in the grace of Christ that you and I will find the energy and ability to walk this supernatural path of following Jesus.

What do you think? Leave a comment if you found this post helpful, confusing, or want to add another thought to being strong in grace.

And, if you found this post helpful, pass it on by clicking one of the Share and Enjoy buttons below.

In Him together, Susan Gaddis

ivy on a garden doorOne of my favorite childhood poets is Helen Lowrie Marshall whose poem, “A Thankful Heart for Little Things,” remains one of my treasures. Most of her books are out of print, so I cherish the two that I own.

Little Things

Dear God, please give to me

A thankful heart for little things—

For sunshine on my kitchen floor,

For news the postman brings;

For memories in the making,

Things the children do and say,

That I will smile about, perhaps,

Some future, lonelier day.

 

Grant me appreciation

Of the small joys that are mine—

The children’s birthday parties,

My honeysuckle vine;

The clean, fresh smell

Of clothes just washed;

The ivy on my wall,

The children’s thrilled delight

To wake and find the first snowfall.

For robins in the springtime,

And autumn’s crispy weather—

For leaves that crunch,

Friends in for lunch

And laughter shared together.

 

Give me enthusiasm

To greet each brand new day

With an honest joy in living

As I go my simple way;

I do not ask contentment

That would ambition stay—

But let me love the little things

I find along the way.

~Helen Lowrie Marshall

I’m thankful for the things my grandchildren do and say–even the negative things. I recently found it enlightening to listen to three-year-old Paisley calmly explain why she did not push another little girl off the playground ladder. “It was my sister Karalee who pushed the little girl.”

Her mother, Kati, looked at me and rolled her eyes. I marveled at the cute, little deceiver–she really does have a sin nature hiding behind those big blue eyes. And someday I will remind her of this conversation!

What little things in your life are you thankful for?

In Him together, Susan Gaddis

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