Archive for the Category »Humor «

06
Aug
How Clear Are Your Perceptions?
Susan Gaddis

Joe and Carol moved into their first home in a lovely, old Sacramento neighborhood. All around them the restored houses displayed their manicured yards and stately porches. As with most couples, Carol was very proud of their new surroundings and their ability to afford such a treasured home.

One morning while they were eating breakfast, Carol saw her neighbor, Sally, hanging the wash outside.

“That laundry isn’t very clean,” Carol commented. “Sally doesn’t know how to properly wash clothes. I’ll bet she’s using cheap laundry soap.” Joe looked on, but didn’t say anything.

Every time Sally would hang her wash to dry, Carol would make the same comments.

A month later, Carol was surprised to see nice clean laundry hanging on the line and said to Joe, “Look, Sally has finally learned how to wash clothes. I wonder who taught her how?”

Joe replied, “I got up early this morning and cleaned our windows.”

Sound familiar? Many times, our perceptions mirror our dirty windows more than they do our neighbor’s dirty laundry.

Finding the Holy in the daily requires keeping our interior windows clean. How’s your window washing going lately?

In Him together, Susan Gaddis

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Category: Daily chores, Humor, Personal growth, Relationships  Tags: , , , , , ,
05
Jul
Oops! I Shouldn’t Have Written That! 10 Famous Bulletin Bloopers
Susan Gaddis

Joy is the language of heaven and laughter is one of joy’s expressions. I’ve been reading church bulletins for most of my life and have written many of them myself. Computers may be better at spell checking a bulletin, but they will never replace a human brain—or lack of a human using his brain. Following are 10 of the most famous bulletin bloopers of all time.

1.  Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It’s a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.

2.  Remember in prayer the many that are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say “Hell” to someone who doesn’t care much about you.

3.  Miss Charlene Mason sang “I will not pass this way again,” giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

4.  Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.

5.  Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

6.  Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.

7.  The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment, and gracious hostility.

8.  The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.

9.  Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7:00 PM. Please use the back door.

10.  The Associate Minister unveiled the church’s new campaign slogan last Sunday: “I Upped My Pledge – Up Yours.”

Do you have a favorite bulletin blooper you’d like to share?

In Him together, Susan Gaddis

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Category: Humor  Tags: , , , ,
16
Jun
10 Life Lessons From a Ranch Girl
Susan Gaddis

Growing up on a cattle ranch taught me a lot about life, people, and God. Although I still have a lot to learn, I submit to you 10 life lessons gleaned from my ranch archives.   

  1. Creation is God’s altar. Don’t forget to worship.
  2. God speaks in the storm as well as the breeze. Listen and learn.
  3. Don’t drink from the cattle trough, and don’t mess with the bull.
  4. A cow path is the shortest and easiest distance from here to there, but you’ll miss a lot of adventure if you follow the cow path.
  5. Never kick a cow chip on a hot day, and don’t throw one at your brother.
  6. Don’t make a pet of something you plan to eat.
  7. Avoid egg fights in the barn when dressed in your Sunday best.
  8. Don’t interfere with a critter if he isn’t bothering you.
  9. You can’t tell how good a man or watermelon is until they get thumped.
  10. Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

Any bits of life wisdom you’d like to share in the comment section below?

In Him together, Susan Gaddis

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Category: Daily, Humor  Tags: , , , , , , , , ,
28
May
God Sneaks In When Moms Aren’t Looking
Susan Gaddis

Lynn Ayers and the 3 grandgirls we share with her and Ron

I thought when my first child was born that there wouldn’t be much “God time” in my life until I was quite old. However, God sneaks in when moms aren’t looking.

Our first son arrived when I was 25 years young and number six was born 16 years later. That youngest child graduates from high school in a few weeks. Children have been a part of my life for the last 34 years and daily devotions weren’t always possible during those years. However, the raising of the kids has been more of “the raising of Mom” than Mom ever realized it would be when she and Dad started this adventure.

Birthing babies taught me the awesomeness of Creator God and that I can endure extreme, physical pain.

Labor and birth educated me in the proper place to leave my fashion sense—outside the door. Few things are as beautiful in God’s eyes as a mother in labor.

New babies let me know I could live without a shower for many days and God didn’t care.

I soon realized that I could have my “quiet time” while nursing a baby at 2:00 in the morning.

Changing diapers required humility where little had been before.

Living with toddlers taught me that eating dirt provided needed minerals and that I needed to relax in the moment.

Homeschooling allowed my impatience to rise to the surface where God could deal with it.

My children taught me that a cluttered home is godly—God’s people live there and are enjoying life.

Cooking countless meals developed my culinary skills beyond cold cereal and, along with that, the realization that God enjoyed cooking with me.

Hospital trips developed my faith in the Great Physician.

Organizing a home, managing six kids, and homeschooling provided the confidence needed to tackle anything God asked me to do in the wider world.

Raising teenagers sent me to the prayer closet more often than I care to remember.

Watching my kids leave home has taught me that they are not mine to hold onto anymore—God is perfectly capable of taking care of them and I need to stay out of his way.

I never knew that laughter was the language of heaven until I had children.

God sneaks in when moms aren’t looking. How would you finish this statement? “Through raising kids, God is teaching me _________.”

In Him together, Susan Gaddis

4 Comments
Category: Daily, Humor, Personal growth  Tags: , , , , ,
10
Mar
How to Find the Holy When You Have a Cold
Susan Gaddis

sneezeWhere does one find the Holy in the midst of the flu and cold season? Sickness is one of those times when holy doesn’t feel spiritual. However, here are 5 things you can do to get well soon and connect with the Holy:

1. Set the to-do list aside and give yourself permission to skip work. Unless you are Jack Bauer, the world will not end if you don’t get to work today.

2. Ask the family for help with the basic household duties. If the kids complain, go to plan B—use their college fund to hire a housekeeper.

3. Strive to keep your sense of humor. Attitudes are fragile when sickness hangs around and a little humor can preserve more than relationships. Studies show that humor promotes healing.

4. Drink lots of fluids and go to bed. Oh, and call your mother. Everyone needs a little mothering when they are sick.

5. The Great Physician has the best bedside manner. Let him minister to you even as you curl up on the couch. Play some quiet worship music and get some sleep.

What do you do to get well when you have a cold or the flu? I’d love to know as I’m still fighting this cold! Please leave your advice in the comment section below.

In Him together, Susan Gaddis

6 Comments
Category: Humor  Tags: , , , , ,
18
Dec
News Flash! God Becomes Man!
Susan Gaddis

1111928_baby_hand_2Contrary to popular religious thought, man does not evolve into godness over the course of several, rightly-lived lifetimes. This fable was securely put to rest when the reverse happened—God became a man.

Some 2,000 years ago a baby was born as God incarnate. Once grown, he went around healing people, raising the dead, helping the poor, and turning the crazies into law abiding citizens. His actions rattled the local authorities who didn’t like to see God messing up their social structure. So they killed him.

Yep, they killed God. Only as a human could God be killed. God, as God, could not die. Birth as a human allowed God to take upon himself the injustices of mankind and bear the punishment for those wrongs, which was death.

But, here’s the catch, God Who Became Human rose from the dead. Death bit the dust. The God-man tells folks that, as his followers, they will live forever; his death and resurrection renders null and void all the injustices and wrongs they commit.

Millions of people find this story easier to believe than the idea of man expanding into deity. Too much wrongness exists in humanity to be eradicated by personal effort. Individuals need God Who Became Human to change them from the inside out. His death becomes their death and his promise of resurrection power transforms their lives now and in the future.

Continuing story: The Stable Born God Lives.

In Him together, Susan Gaddis

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Category: Advent, Humor  Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,
20
Nov
Laughter In the Moment
Susan Gaddis

943263_turkeyLaughter is a holy moment shared—even God loves to laugh. He keeps a scrapbook of memories recalling the things we say and do that delight His heart (see Malachi 3:16).

One of the joys of Thanksgiving is recalling those holy laughter moments that bind us closer as a family and friends. Recently our son, Daniel, told his college group the story of when we served a four-legged turkey for Thanksgiving dinner.

For the last fifteen years of my mom and dad’s life, the family gathered at my house for the big Thanksgiving feast. My folks would arrive several hours before dinner, which provided Dad plenty of time to “oversee” my turkey roasting (and everything else.)

One year I decided I’d had enough. I sewed two extra legs on a turkey and roasted it as usual. The family kept Dad busy with other things he could “oversee” whenever I had to baste the turkey. But when it was time to carve the turkey, the honor went to my dad. He fell for it—hook, line, and legs.

“Oh my gosh! Look at this turkey.” Dad exclaimed as he gathered the family around. “I’ve never seen a turkey like this before. I can’t believe they didn’t catch it in the meat processing plant.”

Hearing our giggles, Dad’s eyebrows went up. Enlightenment dawned on his face. We devoured our four-legged bird, and Dad never bossed me around in the kitchen again.

What holy moments of laughter do you recall from Thanksgivings past? Click on “comment” at the very bottom of this post to share your tall tale.

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Category: Humor, Relationships  Tags: , , , , , , ,