Archive for the Category »Soul Friends «

Do ever feel lonely and need a friend? Do you ever think you want to exit a party as soon as you walk in because you don’t know anyone?

Although I’m not sure you can “make” anyone do anything, Dale Carnegie shares six tips that will make people like you. They sound like the extended version of Proverbs 18:24: “A man who has friends must himself be friendly.”

Six Tips That Will Make People Like You

(My humble comments are in parentheses.)

Rule 1: Become genuinely interested in other people. (Get out of your comfort zone and ask the person about their life: hobbies, job, kids, favorite book, or what kind of dog they have. Find out what gets them excited about life.)

Rule 2: Smile. (Ouch! Ask my friends–I often don’t realize that my face is not in smile-mode.)

Rule 3: Remember that a person’s name is to him or her the sweetest and most important sound. (Repeating his or her name several times during the conversation will help you remember it and also give validation to your new friend.)

Rule 4: Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves. (Ask the “who, what, why, when, and where” questions like a favorite cousin would–not like your mother might.)

Rule 5: Talk in terms of the other person’s interests. (Once you know what gets a person excited about life, linger there–become a learner.)

Rule 6: Make the other person feel important—and do it sincerely. (Give your undivided attention by looking your friend in the eyes, avoiding distractions, repeating his or her name at appropriate times, and give positive feed back on the topics shared.)

Sounds easy, but these six rules are difficult to remember when you are feeling shy. Try them for a few days at work and let me know if your relationships improve. Hey, you might even get a raise!

By the way, do you have a rule that endears you to folks? Care to share it with us?

In Him together, Susan Gaddis

I spent this last weekend with eight friends who comprise our Father’s House Forever Girlfriends team. These ladies gather every January for a weekend retreat to plan out our year of women’s activities. It’s a weekend of laughter, prayer, planning, and eating—lots of eating.

Usually half of the women are new to the team so the weekend is designed to bond us as a group as well as get some practical planning done. The dining table becomes our favorite place to huddle and brainstorm.  Unknown details of our lives and hilarious stories emerge that surprise us about one another, even though many of us have known each other for years. People relax around food—dining together provides an atmosphere where relationships can bloom naturally.

Number seven on my list of 2011 New Year’s resolutions states, “Dine and visit with friends regularly this year. Consider it a rehearsal for the Marriage Supper of the Lamb.” You might think fulfilling this resolution would come easy, but I often feel so tired at the end of a day that a quiet dinner at home becomes a sanctuary. Weeks can go by before I realize that I’ve neglected a fundamental need—connecting with friends at a deep level.

I actually started on this resolution some time ago. My friend Susan and I meet every two weeks for a morning coffee and chat. It’s a priority date that keeps us sane in lives full of responsibility. Several times a year our husbands join us for dinner and we talk until late at night.

The release of an anticipated new film provides a perfect opportunity for dinner conversation after the show with Dave and Vickie, long time friends and movie enthusiasts. A summer bar-b-que or winter stew draws our adult children and friends back to the homestead for lively conversation and reconnecting.

The reason I put “dine and visit with friends” on my resolution list this year was because I need more of it. It’s easy for me to dig myself into a rut of work and suddenly realize that I haven’t balanced my life out with friends and good food in many weeks. This does not make for a well-adjusted Susan. (Just ask my husband.)

The Marriage Supper of the Lamb is scheduled on my unseen calendar for sometime in the future. It is reserved—I just don’t know the date yet. I have no idea who will be sitting next to me—it could be Peter, James, or John. However, I plan to be well versed in story telling, laughter, and how to pass the potatoes by the time it arrives. How are your rehearsal plans going?

In Him together, Susan Gaddis

1137562_book_of_love_1This year finances are tight, so we are spending Valentine’s Day at home—keeping it simple, special, and inexpensive. Here are my plans, but don’t tell Tom!

Here are 5 Ways to Make Valentine’s Day Simple

 

1.  Simple—Buy an inexpensive journal from the Dollar Store and begin a Valentine’s Journal for the love of your life. List the ways this person blesses you, reminds you of Jesus, and deepens your spiritual journey.

Record a favorite memory or the words to a song that speaks of your relationship. Tape a photo onto one of the pages or add the menu from the coffee shop you frequent together.

A Scripture from Song of Solomon or a poem placed here and there throughout the journal gives the book a romantic feel. Include a note in the front of the journal explaining your intentions of adding to the book in the years ahead.

2.  Simple—Enrich the atmosphere by using your finest dishes for a home cooked, special dinner and adding flowers or candles to the table. Pull out a CD you haven’t listened to in ages and play it for background music during the evening. You can also choose the genre of music that appeals to you on Pandora and play it free from your laptop. Eat, dance, and share the memories that mark your relationship as special.

3.  Simple—Do an Internet search for romantic quotes you can copy onto slips of paper. Leave these scattered around the house for your lover to find. For example, tape one to the bathroom mirror, another to the closet door, leave some on the bed pillow and put several on your dinner plates.

4.  Simple—Arrange for the children to be gone. We have given our teenagers several options for the evening—all away from home. If you have younger children, put them to bed early or see if a friend will take them for a few hours. If needed, trade childcare with another couple and celebrate Valentine’s Day on separate days. This way each couple can enjoy an evening free of the responsibility of children.

5.  Simple—Pray. Ask the Lord to bless your time together and honor it with his presence. After all, he is the Lover of your soul and your eternal Bridegroom. I think he knows a thing or two about romance!

What unique ideas can you add to this list? What Valentine’s Day traditions can you share with us? Write your thoughts in the comment section below. We would love to hear from you.

In Him together, Susan Gaddis

Marcie and Vickie

Marcie and Vickie

I have lots of friends, many on Facebook. The depth of these friendships varies, yet these people each walk a way with me in my life journey.

Some friendships are information oriented—Twitter type updates about our kids and life in general. Other friends trek with me in the twists and turns of daily life, laugh and cry at the appropriate times, and mark my days with memorable stories of life lived and grief endured.

On a deeper level are my soul friends—those companions on my path who walk beneath the surface of my life. Soul friends allow my good side and my bad side to be exposed; they don’t freak out when the bad side monopolizes my day. My “old man” and my “new man” are not hidden from them. These friends relate to me just as I am without unreal expectations.

Soul friends nourish my soul. Their love and forgiveness allow a depth to develop where I can discover all that God is calling me to become. By their attitudes, words, and actions, the grace of God is extended to help me face other kinds of relationships—the ones that are more expectation and obligation focused.

Most of my personal growth takes place as I walk with my soul friends. They hold me accountable in my shortcomings without judgment or condemnation. Encouragement is offered along with coffee and heavy cream. Confusion vanishes in conversations where laughter is mixed with an understanding of God, his word and his ways. Their companionship keeps me alert to the presence of Jesus and the movings of the Spirit Holy. Daily they lift me before the Throne of the One who guides our journeys.

Everyone needs a soul friend.  Who might your soul friends be and why? Share your thoughts with us in the comment section below. I’d love to hear from you.

And pass this post on to a soul friend, letting them know you value their friendship.

In Him together, Susan Gaddis

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