Tag-Archive for » Christian self-help «

13
Oct
Quiz for Living Free of Your Past

Past, Present, and Future sign for Holy in the Daily blogAre you living free of your past? Living free of our past mistakes and immaturity is often as simple as choosing what we listen to and believe.

I recently had the Lord show me a picture of a man standing next to a cage in which a woman was sitting. I walked up and stood next to the man as he spoke to the woman. The woman seemed unaware of the man and his words, but he kept speaking.

As I listened, I realized that the man was telling the woman all the things that were wrong with her. Every once in a while, he would mention something good about the woman, but the vast majority of his comments were critical. The women continued to remain unaware of the man and his words.

Slowly I realized that the woman was me—or me five years ago. And much of what the man said was true, at least five years ago. It seemed odd, because the man would often turn to the current me to make sure I was listening to his speech to the old me in the cage.

After listening for a few minutes, I calmly walked off. The man wasn’t going to stop his verbal onslaught, but I didn’t have to stick around to listen to it. The criticisms were no longer valid as I had grown and changed much in the last five years. The woman in the cage was a memory only.

Living Free of Your Past Quiz

  1. How often do you hold yourself, or others, to things of the past that are no longer valid?
  2. Do you allow your perceptions to change as God continues to change you, and others, into his image?
  3. Do you listen to the speeches of the enemy in your head? How do you know?
  4. Do you realize that another’s negative opinion of you is not God’s opinion?
  5. Do you realize that your judgment of another is not God’s judgment?
  6. Can you allow others to judge you falsely and not let their judgments dictate who you are?

Are you the man or the woman in the picture? Can you walk away from the cage and the accuser to live the life God is currently giving you? After musing on this picture for awhile, I found I had been both the man and the woman at different times in my life. How about you? Share your thoughts in the comment section below.

In Him together, Susan Gaddis

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22
Sep
How to Get Something Done When You Don’t Want to Do It
Superhero woman fights with broom and duster

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There are some things I just don’t like to do—like confrontation, cleaning toilets, and saving the world. However, all these unpleasant things, among many others, lay claim to my life on a regular basis.

To make matters worse, I’m supposed to be joyful when I encounter things I don’t want to do (James 1:2,3). That’s a hard assignment. I’m not real good at the “count it as joy” part of things. I’m much better at the “complain and groan” part of doing something I don’t want to do. So I’ve come up with some tips on attitude adjustment for my toolbox of “how to” stuff.

How to Get Something Done When You Don’t Want to Do It

 

Get Perspective

Recognize that the unpleasant activity will only be for a certain amount of time, not forever. Put a time frame on how long the activity should take, and think about something pleasant to do after you are done.

Get organized

Break things down into smaller units to accomplish. The Israelites took only one city at a time when they conquered the Promised Land.

Get prepared

If you are cleaning the toilet, get the cleaning supplies set out. If confrontation is part of your day, get your heart right and rehearse your wording. If you need to save the world, dry clean your cape and shine up your boots. You’ll feel much better about things once you have done your preparation.

Get praying

You weren’t designed to do big things or have a great attitude in your own strength. Joy is a byproduct of connecting to the One who provides the joy.

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him (James 1:2-5 NIV1984).

Get determined

You’re an adult. Nobody’s going to live your life for you. Put on your big girl panties, or big boy shorts, and jump in and get the job done.

Yesterday I took my own advice, faced the pile of bills sitting in my to-do box, and felt great when all had been paid and the budget adjusted. What are you facing that you don’t want to do. Which of the above tips do you find most helpful and why?

In Him together, Susan Gaddis

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15
Sep
How to Talk to Yourself When You Feel Misunderstood or Rejected

Self Talk for rejection Do you ever feel misunderstood, misrepresented, or rejected? Yep, me too. Some years ago I came up with a pep-talk to give myself whenever these unwanted feelings surfaced. Since then I’ve shared it with many I counsel after they have extended forgiveness to someone, but are still feeling the hurt of the wounding.

Try this self-talk exercise the next time you feel misunderstood, misrepresnted, or rejected. Just insert the name of the person you are struggling with in the blanks below.

Self-talk for when I feel misunderstood, misrepresented, or rejected

Jesus was often misunderstood and misrepresented in his relationships with people, even his disciples. Can I expect anything less?

Jesus was misunderstood. Therefore I can expect to be misunderstood.

Jesus was misrepresented. Therefore I can expect to be misrepresented.

Jesus was rejected. Therefore I can expect to be rejected (both emotional and physically).

My identity, security, and worth as a (mother, father, parent, child, or friend) does not come from having a perfect relationship with another person. No human can ever supply what I need for security, worth and identity. No human will every really understand me or represent me correctly. No human can ever really provide the emotional safety I really need in a relationship.

My identity, security, safety, and worth as a (mother, father, parent, child, or friend) can only be supplied by my daily relationship with the Lord.

Being “right” is not an issue with me. I will allow myself to be perceived as “wrong” even when I feel I am right. I will not try to overly explain myself or defend my opinion. I know that Jesus understands me and can represent me when he feels it is needed. ____________ perception of me cannot hold me in bondage.

Therefore, I release _____________ from my own personal judgments and expectations. I give them permission to misunderstand and misrepresent me. I give them permission to disagree with me.

When ___________ misunderstands, misrepresents, disagrees, or rejects me, it is his problem, not mine. I will listen to his opinion and seek to understand what he is stating. I will honor him by briefly explaining my position, but if he still does not see the situation from my perspective, then I refuse to make his opinion my problem. His opinion will not steal my joy or dictate my emotional state. I will refuse to allow my thoughts to be consumed with his problem.

When I feel frustrated and angry over an issue that I feel is being misunderstood or misrepresented by _______________, I will “pour out my complaint” before the Lord and leave it there! (Psalm 142:1-7) Therefore, the problem no longer rests upon my shoulders, but has been declared to be ______________ problem and/or the Lord’s problem.

So what kind of self-talk do you engage in when you feel misunderstood, misrepresented, or rejected? Has it worked? Leave your thoughts in the comment section below.

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In Him together, Susan Gaddis

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08
Sep
How to Survive a Fire Greater Than 9/11
How to Survive a Fire Greater than 9 11

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The tenth anniversary of the worst attack in history on American soil is this Sunday. The actions of 9/11 shocked us and left us deeply shaken with fear. Although we all experience things that shake us and leave us fearful, 9/11 magnified our private shakings to a national level. Unfortunately, that is the nature of our world.

But there is a kingdom coming that cannot be shaken, either on a personal level or a national one. Because we currently are citizens of that kingdom, we’re asked to embrace fear—the fear of the One who is a consuming fire.

That is scary—serving a God who is a consuming fire. We are called to be people who embrace the fear of a fire far greater than the fire that consumed the Twin Towers and planes full of people. And—get this—we’re to embrace this consuming fire of a God and still experience the security of his unshakable kingdom.

So how do we do that? How do we serve God in an acceptable way with the reverence and godly fear that is a hallmark of his kingdom people? How do we stand out from the crowd as people of God walking in the reality of a kingdom that cannot be shaken?

I don’t know about you, but I find that an impossible assignment. I seem to fear many things, and most of the time the fear of God is not at the top of my list.

It isn’t surprising that the #1 ingredient for serving God with the right kind of fear is grace. I just can’t get the fear thing right apart from the supernatural power of grace. Without grace, I act and react much the same as those outside the kingdom of God.

“Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us have grace, by which we may serve God acceptably with reverence and godly fear. For our God is a consuming fire” (Hebrews 12:28-29).

The truth and grace that flows from Jesus Christ (John 1:17) is the secret to living in a kingdom that cannot be shaken by terrorists, personal failures, economic woes, fractured relationships, or health problems.

Grace is required to embrace the God of consuming fire without being destroyed. (You can find tips on how to tap into this grace in my post “The Secret to Being a Supernatural Follower of Jesus.”)

The 10th anniversary of 9/11 is Sunday. Are you tapping into God’s grace in such a way that those around you see a person calmly serving a God whose fire is more powerful, consuming, and totally different than that of 9/11? How do you know?

In Him together, Susan Gaddis

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18
Mar
Warning–Reactions Can Be Deadly!

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn’t seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls 911. He gasps, “My friend is dead! What can I do?” The operator says, “Calm down. I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.” There is a silence—then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says, “OK, now what?”

Spike Milligan wrote this joke years ago. Although funny, it does illustrate how foolish we can be when we act without thinking. A wise man once said, “The wisdom of the prudent is to give thought to their ways, but the folly of fools is deception” (Proverbs 14:8 NIV).

Life usually comes at me fast and stopping to think is not often an option—at least that’s my excuse. Unfortunately, this only complicates my life. My reactions to the things life throws at me are immediate, but the consequences of my reactions can be long term.

Slowly I’m learning that most things in life do not require an immediate response from me—even if others are demanding it. If I want to be self-governed, then I have to stop reacting. I need to start thinking and responding according to the wisdom gained from musing with the Lord about a situation.

The key for me is in my feelings. If I am feeling driven (which results from thinking that I need to resolve an issue now), then I am not “giving thought to my ways.”

Rarely does something need our immediate attention. Taking time to pray and process before the Lord allows our thoughts and emotions to gain perspective. Seeking to view a situation from another’s perspective brings balance, compassion, and a bigger picture than what our emotions and thoughts might be dictating. Slowly a godly response is embraced and a reaction is avoided. We’re “giving thought to our ways.”

So that’s my story. What have you learned from reacting instead of giving thought to your ways?

In Him together, Susan Gaddis

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28
Feb
The Strange Gift of Disappointment

I woke up this morning to a disappointment. Snow was supposed to cover the hillsides outside the windows of my cozy home. Snow is rare on the Central Coast of California, but all weather reports were promising the rare event. It didn’t happen.

Am I crying in my coffee? Perhaps a little—at least I have coffee to cry in. I’m also challenged to admit my disappointment and move on. Too much wallowing in the sadness of a promised joy unfulfilled does not move me forward into the things God has promised me.

Eliza Tabor said, “Disappointment to a noble soul is what cold water is to burning metal; it strengthens, tempers, intensifies, but never destroys it.”

I’m not sure how disappointment can strengthen, temper, and intensify my soul, but I’m musing to find out. I’m sure it has something to do with my attitude and the fact that this little disappointment is nothing compared to the ones that really suck the life out of us. I’ve had my share of heavy disappointments, and I’ve learned that my response in the minor ones exhibit how much maturity I’ll display during the heavy ones.

A noble soul named Jeremiah said, “If you have raced with men on foot and they have worn you out, how can you compete with horses? If you stumble in safe country, how will you manage in the thickets by the Jordan?” (Jeremiah 12:5 NIV).

By the time you read this on Monday, I will have processed my disappointment before the Lord and begun the process of becoming a noble soul. I intend to compete with horses, and I will be prepared when I find myself in the thickets—that’s my goal. What’s yours?

In Him together, Susan Gaddis

(If you had a chance, wouldn’t you love to win an Amazon.com gift card? Enter your suggestions for titles on my new ebooks here. This contest ends next Sunday night, March 6, 2011.)

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27
Aug
Honoring the Life God Has Given You

Recently I visited my cousin Polly and stepped into the spacious bathroom that once belonged to Grandma Chris. Close by was Grandpa Ivan’s bathroom—connected by a little room where the toilet reigned. The scent of lavender was gone, but since Polly lives in this old adobe ranch house, she has maintained the rustic, yet rich, feel of the 50 year old place.

Grandma’s bathroom caught my attention because it instantly brought back memories of how Grandma honored herself and the life she had been given. This bathroom was totally hers. One of my favorite memories is taking a bubble bath with lavender soap and scrubbing my nails with her little nail brush. I haven’t seen one of those nail brushes in years, but there was always one at Grandma’s, and you always scrubbed your nails while taking a lavender bubble bath. 

I’ve thought a lot about honor after having celebrated 35 years of ministry in the same church and honoring the lives of my parents as each transitioned from earth to Home. We tend to honor other people with appropriate cards and gifts at certain times of the year and especially at their death. But how often do we take the time to honor ourselves and the life God has given us?

I’m not talking about excuses for self indulgence or vanities, but simple, honest ways of honoring the special gifts that God has placed within the life we each live and the person we have become. When we honor something about ourselves, we are saying, “This is good about me and my life. I’m going to take care of it, treasure it, and enjoy it. Thank you, Lord, for creating me.”

I honor who I am by getting my hair cut and colored. I’ve always been a red head and have decided that I will follow my mother’s lead and get my hair done on a regular basis. My mother never missed her weekly appointment with the hair dresser until the week she died. She was the softest, sweetest, little old silver haired woman I’ve ever known.

So, being thankful for the head of hair I have, I keep a regular monthly appointment with my awesome hair stylist, Kris. In this way, I honor the God who gave me something special—my hair. (And yes, I do know that someday I will have to switch to gray, but that time has not yet come.)

My husband, Tom, heads to the gym three times a week. Sometimes he swims. Often he endures the treadmill and weights. This ritual is one of his ways to honor the life God has given him.

How do you honor who you are and the life God has given you? What is there about your life that says, “This is good about me. I’m going to take care of it, treasure it, and enjoy it”? What will your grandchildren remember about the way you honored the person God created you to be and the life you lived as a result?

Your thoughts, answers, comments and lavender soap are encouraged. Leave the former in the comment section below and save the lavender soap for my next birthday. 

In Him together, Susan Gaddis

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