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Sometimes I think God gets confused. Take a look at King David. The Lord called this king a man after his own heart, yet David committed adultery, lied to his people, murdered one of his men, and didn’t score too high for the Parent of the Year award.

According to God, Abraham stands as a man of unwavering faith, although Abraham looks pretty wavering to me—he fathered a son born of doubt, lied about his wife, and played the master deceiver when it suited his purposes.

Why on earth did Jesus leave the family business to twelve guys who fought among themselves, struggled with pride, and abandoned him when he needed their support the most?

If these guys were around today they would be discounted and disqualified by the rest of us—definitely not “spiritual” people. Yet in God’s book, they rank pretty high.

So what is it about our “people lens” that differs from God’s? Why do we tend to judge and devalue people when God doesn’t do that? Why do we focus on the negative in people rather than the positive? What does God see in people that we don’t? What does God see in us that we don’t?

I think it has a lot to do with love and grace. We value and appreciate these qualities, but we don’t understand them. Not only does God understand grace and love, but he is love and grace. Therefore, his “people lens” reflects who he is.

None of us likes to be on the receiving end of a person’s judgment, yet we do not hesitate to state our negative opinion of others—as if we understand their life and struggles! In the Backward Kingdom, people are viewed through the lens of love and grace, not the lens of how they are measuring up according to our expectations.

What are you missing in people by viewing them through the lens of expectations? What are you missing by viewing yourself this way? What might you see by looking through God’s lens of grace and love?

In Him together, Susan Gaddis

1133804_sign_success_and_failureMaking a mistake doesn’t have to define us. Yet, as a counselor, I talk to many people who interpret themselves by their mistakes. Others are quick to hold a spouse, child or co-worker hostage to long ago failures.

Some of us wear mistake-colored glasses that determine the clarity with which we see the world around us. God, however, views us through different lenses. We need to put on our God glasses when it comes to failures. Here are 5 things I’ve learned about making a mistake in the Backward Kingdom.

1.  God never looks at my mistake as though I am the mistake. He has the amazing ability to separate people from their actions. His love for me never ceases and is not altered by my faults.

2.  The stain some mistakes leave on me and others is wiped clean when I seek forgiveness from God and from those involved in my fiascos. The memory of the failure may remain, but the stain is gone from my soul.

3.  Mistakes are opportunities for learning and growth. How can I grow if I don’t fail? How will I know where I need adjusting if I am always faultless? Mistakes become trophies when used to grow me into the person God is calling me to be.

4.  Mistakes are simply missed—takes, which means the next time I face a similar situation, I can take a different response than the one I chose this time.

5.  Every leader has a long track record of mistakes trailing behind him. Apparently it is part of the qualifying process in becoming a leader. Check your Bible for a list of such leaders and join the ranks of those who reign in the Backward Kingdom.

Here are some questions to ponder: What have you learned from your mistakes? What have you learned from your successes? How can something be considered a success unless there is the potential for failure in the mix? Please share your thoughts in the comment section below.

In Him together, Susan Gaddis

544853_question_markDoes making a mistake cause you to feel like a failure? Have emotional wounds taken you captive? Do you ever wonder who you really are and if your life has meaning, value and worth?

Feeling secure in our self identity is something we all struggle with at times, at least if we’re honest. Today I’m sharing an excerpt from my book, Help, I’m Stuck With These People for the Rest of Eternity!, as a reminder that finding the Holy in the daily often starts with our own self-concept.

Old Self, New Self Scripture speaks of an old self that we are to cast aside, and a new self waiting to be embraced.

You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness (Ephesians 4:22-24 NIV).

“Knowing who we are created to be eternally is basic to all interpersonal relationships, for how we interact with others flows from our own self-concept. If we view ourselves according to our old self, we will think and act in ways that portray the old self. If we truly see ourselves as the new self God is forming us into, then we will think and act accordingly. Therefore, discovering this new self is vital to our eternal relationships.

For example, if I am a person who views myself as someone who has a right to be bitter because of my past hurts, then I will relate to others out of my bitterness. But, if I am a person who views others through the Cross of Forgiveness, then bitterness is no longer a filter through which I process my relationships. . . .

Eternal Foundations It is only as we are in Christ that our eternal identity, individual worth, and security begin to take shape. First Corinthians 1:30–31 presents the four basic foundation stones that Jesus Christ seeks to establish within us when we become new creatures in Him:

But by His doing you are in Christ Jesus, who became to us wisdom from God, and righteousness and sanctification, and redemption, that, just as it is written, “Let him who boasts, boast in the Lord” (NAS).

The foundation for our eternal personality will always be found in our relationship with Jesus Christ. Wrong foundations cannot support an eternal person! God’s wisdom, righteousness, sanctification, and redemption are to be the filters through which we view ourselves and through which we relate to others.

These four foundation stones are eternal within each of us. They provide the spiritual weight that holds the rest of our identity in place. Spiritual growth only happens as we build on the wisdom, righteousness, sanctification, and redemption that Christ has become within us. If we are weak in understanding and experiencing these foundations, our growth will be unstable.” (Copyright © 2004 Susan Gaddis)

Talk to Yourself One of the ways to help understand these big words—wisdom, righteousness, sanctification and redemption—and apply 1 Corinthians 1:30-31 to my own life has been to speak to myself according to the truth of the Scripture passage. For example, I might tell myself, “Jesus has been made my wisdom. I no longer have to feel dumb, stupid, or inadequate because of a lack of education, disabilities, or slow thought processes. My identity is no longer tied into these things, but into the wisdom that He has become within me and is working out through my personality as I grow in Him.”

I’ve personalized each of the four foundation stones of wisdom, righteousness, sanctification and redemption in Self Talk for Your Christ Identity on my website’s Free Stuff page. I use the material as a counseling aid to help my counselees improve their own self-talk and confidence. I hope you find it helpful.

In Him together, Susan Gaddis

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