Tag-Archive for » self-talk «

26
Jan
How to Have a Meaningful Conversation With Yourself
Self-talk with a banana

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So you talk to yourself. Everyone does. It’s called self-talk, and it is made up of four different voices clamoring for attention in your head (see last Thursday’s post on Every Christian Has a Multiple Personality Disorder.)

To review, you have four mental voices conversing at any given time:

  1. The voice of the Holy Spirit
  2. Your new-self voice
  3. Your old-self voice
  4. Little “thought starters” thrown your way by demonic busybodies

It isn’t easy to tune into our self-talk, let alone distinguish what the current conversation is about. Our new-self usually doesn’t recognize when our old-self is dominating the conversation. In fact, we are much more comfortable with our old-self doing the talking—it feels so much like home, it feels right, and dang, it feels good.  So let’s learn a little about the party going on in our heads.

Important information about your self-talk

1. Self-talk is so automatic and inaudible that you usually don’t notice it or how it is affecting your moods and reactions to people. Do you think much about what you were telling yourself right before you got angry with someone or had a pity party? I doubt it. Because of this, your old-self thinking goes unquestioned and unchallenged.

2. One little word or mental picture can contain a whole series of memories or thoughts. For example, a simple message such as “The IRS called, ” or “Your ex came by,” can trigger a whole range of emotions and thoughts that must be unraveled to find out what you are really telling yourself.

3. When your old-self is talking, it is typically irrational and almost always sounds right until it is challenged with Scripture truth.

How to manage your self-talk

I have a hard time following a conversation on a verbal level, let alone one going on internally. *eyes cross* I’ve discovered that tuning in to self-talk takes practice—lots of practice.

It’s important that you learn to slow down and notice your internal monologue—eavesdrop on yourself. You have been operating according to your old-self for years, so it’s going to be difficult to “take your thoughts captive” (see 2 Corinthians 10:5).

1. Stop throughout the day and ask yourself what you have been thinking about, especially if you have been feeling any type of negative emotion. Identify what you have been feeling and thinking.

2. Has that inner conversation drawn you closer to the Lord and others, or has it distanced you from God and others? (Hint: distancing is bad.)

3. Ask the Holy Spirit what his opinion is on your thought processes, then listen. Closely.

4. Does your inner conversation line up with the way Scripture instructs you to conduct your thinking? (See Philippians 4:8; Ephesians 4:31; Matthew 15:18-9)

5. Challenge your old-self thinking with Scripture truth and the revelation given you by the Holy Spirit earlier. (See #3)

Your actions and reactions are tied into your inner dialogue. Therefore it would be wise to start monitoring that inner conversation and learn to govern your thought life. Your relationships, and therefore, your spiritual legacy depend on it.

For more on self-talk:

If you find your self-talk consumed with stress because of what another is, or isn’t, doing, see my post on Do You Suffer as a Mental Busybody?

If you find yourself having anxiety conversations in your head, see my post on How to Leave a Problem in God’s Hands and Not Steal It Back.

Now it’s your turn: In the comment section below, share with us what works for you in managing unhealthy self-talk.

Susan Gaddis, Helping you build your spiritual legacy

 

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19
Jan
Every Christian Has a Multiple Personality Disorder
Crazy old lady on Holy in the Daily

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I hate to have to tell you this, but you have a multiple personality disorder—an old you and a new you. I know—people have been telling you that for years, but you just didn’t want to believe it. Actually, it’s in the Bible:

You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness (Ephesians 4:22—24 niv).

There you have it—you have to “put off” your old-self and “put on” your new-self. Sounds like a script for a Stephen King novel to me.

Changing your old-self into your new-self begins in your mind; in the way you think and process information. Why is this important? Well—if you don’t process information correctly, your relationships will suffer. (Just ask your spouse.)

At any given point in time you will have four voices going on inside your head and they will usually all sound like your own voice. Yes, I know—weird. These four voices make up your inner dialogue, called “self-talk.” They are:

The Holy Spirit

The Holy Spirit resides deep within your spirit and is always alert to what you are thinking and feeling. He desires to communicate and fellowship with you all the time. Although his voice will sound like your own, it will carry a note of gracious authority and will always speak according to scriptural truth. Often you won’t even hear his voice, but will sense in a moment what he is thinking or feeling.

Your “new-self”

This is the new you! This is the spirit part of you that was totally recreated at salvation and it is also the soul part of you that is being renewed in your thoughts, emotions, and will areas.

This new you thinks according to Scripture and acts like Jesus. When your new-self is in communion with the Holy Spirit, you will find God’s power working life within you and affecting all your relationships.

Your “old-self”

This is the old you that dominated your life before you came to know Christ—your old ways of thinking, feeling, and acting. You know, that ugly part of you that you’d like to forget. The truth is, your old “you” still wants to dominate!

Unfortunately, it is part of your sin nature and is connected to your body. Your old-self will be a part of you until you get rid of your body at death. So… you will be dealing with the old-self part of you for a long time.

You have to constantly treat your old-self as if it were a dead, shriveled up, ugly thing that should be buried (see Romans 6). Any part of your thought life that is still thinking according to your old-self habit patterns will work death within you and will contaminate your relationships.

Demonic voices

Sometimes a demon will throw a thought into your mind aimed at your old-self. It will usually sound like your own voice in your head, but it isn’t because it is speaking something contrary to Truth.

What you do with this “thought starter” is up to you. You can recognize it as false, rebuke it, and refuse to give it any place in your self-talk, which is an internal action of your new-self.

Or you can grab onto the thought starter and incorporate it into your inner monologue, which is what your old-self will do (bad decision). The resulting inner conversation will work death in you and in your relationships.

Let’s summarize:

  • You have four voices in your head competing for your attention at any given time.
  • The voices you ignore will eventually dim, but never completely go away.
  • The voices you pay attention to will determine your choices and actions.

So what will it be? Your new-self and the Spirit Holy, or your old-self and those pesky little demonic thought starters that can ruin your day?

Tune in next Thursday, and I’ll give you some tips for managing your self-talk.

Now it’s your turn: What’s your signal that you have given your old-self too much place in your thinking?

Susan Gaddis, Helping you build your spiritual legacy

If you found this post helpful, please pass it on.

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24
May
Do You Suffer As a Mental Busybody?

Most of us avoid gossip and slander, yet I wonder how many of us mentally trespass in other people’s affairs without ever speaking a word. Living as a mental busybody happens when our inner monologue takes us into areas that are none of our business. Suffering is the result.

“But let none of you suffer as a murderer, a thief, an evildoer, or as a busybody in other people’s matters” (1 Peter 4:15 NKJ). Interesting—a busybody is grouped with murderers, thieves and evildoers. Yep, I can see how that might cause some suffering.

I am responsible for me, not you. So tension, stress, and suffering arrive when I am being a busybody with my thoughts—mentally living outside of what is my own responsibility and business. When I think, “You should go to church, he is not listening to me, she is being irresponsible,” I am out of my arena of responsibility and into someone else’s business. When my thought life is consumed with how wrong I am being treated or what someone else should or shouldn’t be doing, then I am being a mental busybody.

All of my thoughts concerning other people may be true; however I have no control over other people. I cannot change people. I have a hard enough time changing me. This doesn’t mean that I condone or approve of other people’s choices. What it means is that what they do, or don’t do, is only under their own control. So why am I wasting brain cells thinking about something that I have no control over?

Byron Katie makes an interesting statement in her book, Loving What Is, “If you are living your life and I am mentally living your life, who is here living mine? We’re both over there. Being mentally in your business keeps me from being present in my own.”

Tune into your self-talk and see what percentage of your day is wasted living someone else’s life instead of your own. Do you suffer as a mental busybody?

In Him together, Susan Gaddis

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22
Jan
Identity Crisis

544853_question_markDoes making a mistake cause you to feel like a failure? Have emotional wounds taken you captive? Do you ever wonder who you really are and if your life has meaning, value and worth?

Feeling secure in our self identity is something we all struggle with at times, at least if we’re honest. Today I’m sharing an excerpt from my book, Help, I’m Stuck With These People for the Rest of Eternity!, as a reminder that finding the Holy in the daily often starts with our own self-concept.

Old Self, New Self Scripture speaks of an old self that we are to cast aside, and a new self waiting to be embraced.

You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness (Ephesians 4:22-24 NIV).

“Knowing who we are created to be eternally is basic to all interpersonal relationships, for how we interact with others flows from our own self-concept. If we view ourselves according to our old self, we will think and act in ways that portray the old self. If we truly see ourselves as the new self God is forming us into, then we will think and act accordingly. Therefore, discovering this new self is vital to our eternal relationships.

For example, if I am a person who views myself as someone who has a right to be bitter because of my past hurts, then I will relate to others out of my bitterness. But, if I am a person who views others through the Cross of Forgiveness, then bitterness is no longer a filter through which I process my relationships. . . .

Eternal Foundations It is only as we are in Christ that our eternal identity, individual worth, and security begin to take shape. First Corinthians 1:30–31 presents the four basic foundation stones that Jesus Christ seeks to establish within us when we become new creatures in Him:

But by His doing you are in Christ Jesus, who became to us wisdom from God, and righteousness and sanctification, and redemption, that, just as it is written, “Let him who boasts, boast in the Lord” (NAS).

The foundation for our eternal personality will always be found in our relationship with Jesus Christ. Wrong foundations cannot support an eternal person! God’s wisdom, righteousness, sanctification, and redemption are to be the filters through which we view ourselves and through which we relate to others.

These four foundation stones are eternal within each of us. They provide the spiritual weight that holds the rest of our identity in place. Spiritual growth only happens as we build on the wisdom, righteousness, sanctification, and redemption that Christ has become within us. If we are weak in understanding and experiencing these foundations, our growth will be unstable.” (Copyright © 2004 Susan Gaddis)

Talk to Yourself One of the ways to help understand these big words—wisdom, righteousness, sanctification and redemption—and apply 1 Corinthians 1:30-31 to my own life has been to speak to myself according to the truth of the Scripture passage. For example, I might tell myself, “Jesus has been made my wisdom. I no longer have to feel dumb, stupid, or inadequate because of a lack of education, disabilities, or slow thought processes. My identity is no longer tied into these things, but into the wisdom that He has become within me and is working out through my personality as I grow in Him.”

I’ve personalized each of the four foundation stones of wisdom, righteousness, sanctification and redemption in Self Talk for Your Christ Identity on my website’s Free Stuff page. I use the material as a counseling aid to help my counselees improve their own self-talk and confidence. I hope you find it helpful.

In Him together, Susan Gaddis

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