Tag-Archive for » spiritual counseling «

26
Jan
How to Have a Meaningful Conversation With Yourself
Self-talk with a banana

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So you talk to yourself. Everyone does. It’s called self-talk, and it is made up of four different voices clamoring for attention in your head (see last Thursday’s post on Every Christian Has a Multiple Personality Disorder.)

To review, you have four mental voices conversing at any given time:

  1. The voice of the Holy Spirit
  2. Your new-self voice
  3. Your old-self voice
  4. Little “thought starters” thrown your way by demonic busybodies

It isn’t easy to tune into our self-talk, let alone distinguish what the current conversation is about. Our new-self usually doesn’t recognize when our old-self is dominating the conversation. In fact, we are much more comfortable with our old-self doing the talking—it feels so much like home, it feels right, and dang, it feels good.  So let’s learn a little about the party going on in our heads.

Important information about your self-talk

1. Self-talk is so automatic and inaudible that you usually don’t notice it or how it is affecting your moods and reactions to people. Do you think much about what you were telling yourself right before you got angry with someone or had a pity party? I doubt it. Because of this, your old-self thinking goes unquestioned and unchallenged.

2. One little word or mental picture can contain a whole series of memories or thoughts. For example, a simple message such as “The IRS called, ” or “Your ex came by,” can trigger a whole range of emotions and thoughts that must be unraveled to find out what you are really telling yourself.

3. When your old-self is talking, it is typically irrational and almost always sounds right until it is challenged with Scripture truth.

How to manage your self-talk

I have a hard time following a conversation on a verbal level, let alone one going on internally. *eyes cross* I’ve discovered that tuning in to self-talk takes practice—lots of practice.

It’s important that you learn to slow down and notice your internal monologue—eavesdrop on yourself. You have been operating according to your old-self for years, so it’s going to be difficult to “take your thoughts captive” (see 2 Corinthians 10:5).

1. Stop throughout the day and ask yourself what you have been thinking about, especially if you have been feeling any type of negative emotion. Identify what you have been feeling and thinking.

2. Has that inner conversation drawn you closer to the Lord and others, or has it distanced you from God and others? (Hint: distancing is bad.)

3. Ask the Holy Spirit what his opinion is on your thought processes, then listen. Closely.

4. Does your inner conversation line up with the way Scripture instructs you to conduct your thinking? (See Philippians 4:8; Ephesians 4:31; Matthew 15:18-9)

5. Challenge your old-self thinking with Scripture truth and the revelation given you by the Holy Spirit earlier. (See #3)

Your actions and reactions are tied into your inner dialogue. Therefore it would be wise to start monitoring that inner conversation and learn to govern your thought life. Your relationships, and therefore, your spiritual legacy depend on it.

For more on self-talk:

If you find your self-talk consumed with stress because of what another is, or isn’t, doing, see my post on Do You Suffer as a Mental Busybody?

If you find yourself having anxiety conversations in your head, see my post on How to Leave a Problem in God’s Hands and Not Steal It Back.

Now it’s your turn: In the comment section below, share with us what works for you in managing unhealthy self-talk.

Susan Gaddis, Helping you build your spiritual legacy

 

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27
Oct
How to Leave a Problem in God’s Hands and Not Steal It Back
thief photo on Holy in the Daily blog

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How does one put a problem in God’s hands and not steal it right back, more often than not, unintentionally? This question was asked a few weeks ago on my Author Susan Gaddis Facebook page. Who doesn’t put something in God’s care and forget to leave it there? Guilty—all of us have.

Usually when we neglect to leave a problem in God’s hands the “stealing it back” comes in the form of mental musing over the problem. You know, those anxiety conversations that we have with ourselves in our mind, act out in our imagination, and eventually spill over onto someone else’s peaceful day.

Therefore we have to catch those little though starters of doubt or anxiety before they become long conversations in our self-talk. This is what 2 Corinthians 10:5 is referring to when it tells us to take every thought captive and make it obedient to Christ Jesus. Here are some tips on how to do that:

1. After you leave your problem with the Lord, tune into your self-talk throughout the day. Identify any little thought that wants to hang out with the problem you left with God. After all, this isn’t your problem any more; it is God’s—so stay out of God’s business and mind your own business.

2. Mentally grab the invading thought and hold it up against the truth of God’s Word. Quote a Scripture promise at the sneaky thought such as Psalm 138:8, “The Lord will perfect that which concerns me; Your mercy, O Lord, endures forever; Do not forsake the works of Your hands” (NKJV).

3. Pray the Scripture promise, talk it over in your self-talk, and use it to rebuke the enemy if necessary. Personally, I like to find a Scripture promise for every problem that I leave with the Lord. I keep them on flip cards, which makes them easy to keep next to my bed or in my purse.

4. Put the problem behind you. Where you place your focus will determine if your mind and emotions fixate on the problem or on something more productive. See my post on How to Put Your Problems Behind You.

If the problem seems to continually follow you home—out of the Lord’s hands and into your living room—perhaps you never really left it with the Lord in the first place. Maybe you just had a discussion with God about the problem, and then you tucked the problem under your arm and left his presence. Consider spending some quality time with Jesus talking the problem over and getting all your fears, anxieties, and concerns expressed.

Emotions are real and need to be processed. So process them with the Lord before you leave the problem in his care. Then go back to #1 above and begin again. Honestly, what I’ve outlined here takes practice and doesn’t come easy. Give yourself a little grace and keep at it.

What do you do that helps you leave your problems in the Lord’s hands and not steal them back? Which of the above tips do you practice, and which one might be a new tool for your personal growth toolbox as a follower of Christ? I’d love to hear from you in the comment section below.

In Him together, Susan Gaddis

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27
Sep
Warning! Be Alert to 3 Types of Demonic Attacks

Be Alert!

Has anyone ever told you that you need to become alert to 3 different types of demonic attacks? Really—there is a predator on the loose and he wants to destroy your life. “Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour” (1 Peter 5:8). This predator is supernatural, difficult to recognize, and he doesn’t work alone (see Ephesians 6:12).

Demonic forces provoke and pressure us into wrong ways of thinking or acting. We feel “driven”. These attacks are often hard to identify because we are so used to them. We often believe that they are our own thoughts or just a part of everyday life.

“Lest Satan should get an advantage of us: for we are not ignorant of his devices” (2 Corinthians 2:11 KJ). The word “devices” used here can be translated as “mind devices” from the Greek—giving us a word picture of how the enemy of our souls attempts to attack us—through our thoughts and emotions.

Most people are ignorant of the devices used by the predator. Satan’s goal is to manipulate our free will so that we will act according to his dictates and become his slaves (2 Peter 2:19). He aims most of his attacks at our thoughts and emotions, which then motivate our will, or decision making ability, in a wrong direction.

Be Alert to 3 Types of Demonic Attacks

Learning to recognize the 3 different types of demonic attacks can help you avoid becoming predator fodder.

Attack of Resistance

Sometimes we feel resistance because we deserve it—we’re trampling on other people or being stupid in our actions. But when resistance comes because of a God assignment in our lives it may indicate something other than immaturity. The goal of a resistance attack is mental, emotional, and physical discouragement. Check out the following stories to see what I’m talking about:

  1. Daniel is resisted by people in his God given assignment (Daniel 6).
  2. Daniel is resisted by demonic powers (Daniel 10:11-13).
  3. Paul is resisted in his ministry by Satan (1 Thessalonians 2:18).

Ask God to reveal who or what is causing the “road block” you are facing. Both Daniel and Paul knew who was causing their road blocks. These men of God could identify what they were up against.

Attack of Temptation

In James 1:14-16 we are given the pattern that temptation follows: “But each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death. Don’t be deceived, my dear brothers.”

Learn how this pattern works in your own life:

  1. What happened in your thinking that led to wrong actions?
  2. What feelings arose within that prompted your choices?
  3. How did the sin grow once you had given in to the temptation?

Do you see a pattern?

Attack of Flaming Arrows

“In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one” (Ephesians 6:16). Like temptation, arrows are aimed at our thoughts and emotions. If demons can capture our mind or feelings, they can then direct our actions.

To resist a flaming arrow, learn to tune into your thoughts and feelings:

  1. What are you feeling or thinking? Identify the “arrow.”
  2. Why are you feeling or thinking this? Learn the cause of the arrow. What is the enemy trying to stir up in you?
  3. Is your initial reaction godly or ungodly? Wrong reactions signal that you have accepted, rather than rejected, a flaming arrow.

Pulled any flaming arrows out lately?

What has been your experience with these 3 types of demonic attacks? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comment section below.

Check back on Wednesday for the next post on how to resist the enemy and avoid becoming predator fodder. You can also find other tips on dealing with demonic attacks in the August 30, 2010 post, “How to Deal With the Accuser Living in Your Head.”

In Him together, Susan Gaddis

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11
Jun
Dancing In the Midst of Difficulty

Having a difficult day? Did you know that one of the most spiritual things you can do when you feel down is to dance?

God dances. And he dances when we are in the midst of difficulty. And it is us that he dances with. And he dances with intensity. Zephaniah 3:16 –17 paints a picture of this when it uses the Hebrew word “guwl” for the word “rejoice.” “Guwl” means “to spin about” or “dance violently.”

“On that day they will say to Jerusalem, ‘Do not fear, O Zion; do not let your hands hang limp. The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice (spin about and dance violently) over you with singing’” (NIV)

So if your circumstances bring you down, go out and dance. Let your body express your prayer for hope, love, and laughter. Don’t let your hands hang limp. And as you dance, imagine the Lord of the Dance spinning about and dancing violently as he sings his love song over you.

Yes, you may feel a little strange dancing when you don’t feel like it, especially if the Lord is your unseen partner. But who cares what people think. It was Angela Monet who said, “Those who danced were thought to be quite insane by those who could not hear the music.”

The Hopi people have a saying: “To watch us dance is to hear our hearts speak.” Let your heart speak.

Have you ever danced in the face of difficulties? How did that change you?

In Him together, Susan Gaddis

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28
Apr
How To Put Your Problems Behind You

Everyone has problems. Along the road of life you will run into obstacles that hinder your journey if you don’t learn how to move past them.

Too much focusing on your financial crises, irritations, relationship issues, or personal failures will only cause irritation and depression. Soon your world shrinks and all you can see is the negative in your life or in someone else.

One of my areas of oversight in our church concerns Biblical Counseling. Traditionally we seek to help people fix what is wrong with their life by identifying their problem, finding the root from which the problem grew, engaging in some inner healing with the Spirit Holy, and providing each individual with tools to think and act scripturally–all important practices, but basically problem centered.

Focusing on the problem is helpful, but it takes a lot of energy and emotional investment. I see a balance to this traditional method in what is called Positive Psychology.

This avenue of counseling asks the question: What happens if you use your energy to identify and grow what is right about you and your life instead of focusing on the negative? This approach is perfectly biblical.

Think about it. What do we instinctively do when we’re driving down the road and see an obstacle? Most of us note the obstacle, be it an old box or road kill, and we slow down. But we don’t focus on the obstacle like a target, or it would consume our vision and we would hit it dead center. Instead, as soon as we’ve noted the obstacle, our eyes move beyond it and our reflexes dictate a course around it.

Runners follow the same principle in order to run a good race. They know not to focus on obstacles in their path. Such distractions cause them to lose their rhythm and eventually the race.

Our personal problems are the same as any other obstacle blocking our forward motion. When a problem consumes our focus, it also becomes an unintentional target. In order to move safely around the problem we must note it and focus beyond the problem to the good part of the road—where we are going, what we are becoming, and the good things that God has placed in us and in our lives.

Please note that we are not ignoring or denying the problem—we are choosing to focus most of our attention beyond the problem. Simply put, “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things” (Philippians 4:8 NIV).

What would your life be like if you used your energy to identify and grow what is right about you? What would happen if you looked for the good in a person instead of focusing on their irritations? How would your relationships be different? How much more of the Holy would you find in your daily if you changed your focus?

In Him together, Susan Gaddis

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