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Everyone has problems. Along the road of life you will run into obstacles that hinder your journey if you don’t learn how to move past them.

Too much focusing on your financial crises, irritations, relationship issues, or personal failures will only cause irritation and depression. Soon your world shrinks and all you can see is the negative in your life or in someone else.

One of my areas of oversight in our church concerns Biblical Counseling. Traditionally we seek to help people fix what is wrong with their life by identifying their problem, finding the root from which the problem grew, engaging in some inner healing with the Spirit Holy, and providing each individual with tools to think and act scripturally–all important practices, but basically problem centered.

Focusing on the problem is helpful, but it takes a lot of energy and emotional investment. I see a balance to this traditional method in what is called Positive Psychology.

This avenue of counseling asks the question: What happens if you use your energy to identify and grow what is right about you and your life instead of focusing on the negative? This approach is perfectly biblical.

Think about it. What do we instinctively do when we’re driving down the road and see an obstacle? Most of us note the obstacle, be it an old box or road kill, and we slow down. But we don’t focus on the obstacle like a target, or it would consume our vision and we would hit it dead center. Instead, as soon as we’ve noted the obstacle, our eyes move beyond it and our reflexes dictate a course around it.

Runners follow the same principle in order to run a good race. They know not to focus on obstacles in their path. Such distractions cause them to lose their rhythm and eventually the race.

Our personal problems are the same as any other obstacle blocking our forward motion. When a problem consumes our focus, it also becomes an unintentional target. In order to move safely around the problem we must note it and focus beyond the problem to the good part of the road—where we are going, what we are becoming, and the good things that God has placed in us and in our lives.

Please note that we are not ignoring or denying the problem—we are choosing to focus most of our attention beyond the problem. Simply put, “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things” (Philippians 4:8 NIV).

What would your life be like if you used your energy to identify and grow what is right about you? What would happen if you looked for the good in a person instead of focusing on their irritations? How would your relationships be different? How much more of the Holy would you find in your daily if you changed your focus?

In Him together, Susan Gaddis

1176000_black_notebook_with_pencilThere are many scripts defining your life: The story you tell about yourself in your head. The story others tell about you or think about you. The story the enemy of your soul wants to create for you. But the story that matters is the one the Author of Life is writing for you. Which story are you living?

The easiest script to follow is the one running just below the surface of your thoughts. You know the one—“I’m not worthy.” “I’ve made a mistake AGAIN.” “I’m never going to be the person I really want to be.” Or perhaps it sounds like, “I deserve better than this.” “It’s not fair.” “It’s not my fault.” “If he would just change, my life would be better.”

Some choose to live the story others create for them. If you’re not careful, the expectations of your parents, spouse, kids, boss, or friends easily transcribes into your storyline.

A saga is often written by believing the opinions and judgments people place upon you. “You are difficult to live with.” “You can’t keep a job.” “You’re not a good parent.” People only see a facet of the complex person we really are, yet we tend to let their opinions define us.

The Destroyer of Souls creates his narrative for you based on the negative things you believe about yourself, whether gleaned from the story in your head or the things others think about you. The titles of Satan’s tales might read: The Good Wife, The Fugitive, Death Becomes Her, The Mother-In-Law, or Little House of Horrors.

You play a variety of roles in any of these stories—victim, hero, lost soul, damaged goods, villain, child, parent, or savior. Yet, none of these characters is really the starring role in the script God is writing for you.

God was writing your story before the foundation of the world (Ephesians 1:4). He is the author and finisher of your journey (Hebrews 12:2). God introduced your story when he intricately formed you in your mother’s womb (Psalm 139). The place and time of your birth were purposely planned by him (Acts 17:26). The life script bearing your name contains such descriptions as pure, holy, and blameless (Ephesians 1). The exciting part waits to be given voice by you, but you have to step into the story.

Which story are you living? Share your journey with us in the comment section below.

Join me for coffee on Monday and we’ll talk about how to daily Step into Your Story.

In Him together, Susan Gaddis

1133804_sign_success_and_failureMaking a mistake doesn’t have to define us. Yet, as a counselor, I talk to many people who interpret themselves by their mistakes. Others are quick to hold a spouse, child or co-worker hostage to long ago failures.

Some of us wear mistake-colored glasses that determine the clarity with which we see the world around us. God, however, views us through different lenses. We need to put on our God glasses when it comes to failures. Here are 5 things I’ve learned about making a mistake in the Backward Kingdom.

1.  God never looks at my mistake as though I am the mistake. He has the amazing ability to separate people from their actions. His love for me never ceases and is not altered by my faults.

2.  The stain some mistakes leave on me and others is wiped clean when I seek forgiveness from God and from those involved in my fiascos. The memory of the failure may remain, but the stain is gone from my soul.

3.  Mistakes are opportunities for learning and growth. How can I grow if I don’t fail? How will I know where I need adjusting if I am always faultless? Mistakes become trophies when used to grow me into the person God is calling me to be.

4.  Mistakes are simply missed—takes, which means the next time I face a similar situation, I can take a different response than the one I chose this time.

5.  Every leader has a long track record of mistakes trailing behind him. Apparently it is part of the qualifying process in becoming a leader. Check your Bible for a list of such leaders and join the ranks of those who reign in the Backward Kingdom.

Here are some questions to ponder: What have you learned from your mistakes? What have you learned from your successes? How can something be considered a success unless there is the potential for failure in the mix? Please share your thoughts in the comment section below.

In Him together, Susan Gaddis

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